“If time travel is possible,” Stephen Hawking once observed, “where are the tourists from the future?”

Duh. They’re all on the road to Colville.

And I thought this Hawking guy was supposed to be smart.

In all fairness, very few people know about Spokane’s north-to-the-future wormhole.

Despite the zillions spent developing this leg of the mythical North/South Freeway, it remains largely untraveled, undiscovered and unloved.

Even the state’s Department of Transportation seems to have forgotten about it.

But if you have an adventurous heart, you can find it by driving north through Hillyard. (You might want to stop for provisions like canned food, bottled water and maybe an assault rifle.)

I don’t want to give away the secret passage. But eventually you’ll make a right and then a left.

Soon you will approach a strange circular object known by some as a “roundabout.”

Circle three times. That should build your speed to Warp 6 and launch you into the time portal.

You’ll know you’re in the right place when you pass the sign that says…

North.

Future.

395.

An arrow points the way.

Don’t be afraid. Try to stay within the dusty unkempt lanes and observe the posted speed limits. There could be time cops prowling the future.

You never know.

So good luck and happy time traveling.

And say hello to the Morlocks.

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