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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Clarksville

Weird things to see while you’re driving

Politicians, I’ve always believed, are the same jerks we hated in high school.

Which is why I nearly swerved off the road at the sight of a large black-and-white sign that rose out of the weeds on the south side of I-90, near the Pines exit.

“Vote for Jesus,” it read.

Vote for WHO?

I didn’t know the Lord was running for office.

Government is the refuge of pimps, scalawags and weasels.

What’s going on?

Throwing caution to the heavenly breezes, I pulled off onto the side of the highway. I got out of my truck, trying to ignore the constant “whoosh” of speeding traffic, not to mention a county sheriff’s car that passed seconds after I stopped.

Thank God he kept going.

Had he stopped, I had no clue how to explain what I was doing.

DEPUTY – “So why are out of your truck, wandering around on the edge of a dangerous busy freeway?”

DOUG – “Well, sir, I felt this calling, you know, from on high. Something or someone told me to get out and take a photo of that Vote for Jesus sign.”

DEPUTY – “I know exactly what you mean. In fact, I think Jesus just told me to write you a ticket. Whataya think of that?”

DOUG – “I guess the Lord really does work in mysterious ways.”

Fortunately for me, I snapped my photo and drove off like a thief in the night.

Now only questions remain, like…

What office is Jesus running for?

Is Jesus a Democrat or a Republican?

Could He be running for Spokane mayor so Condon doesn’t break the Curse of the One-Term Mayor?

Don’t campaign signs have to show party affiliation to be legal?

Jesus wouldn’t break the election laws, would he?

And where do we go to vote?

Is this a mail-in ballot or do we wait for a dove to fly down and pick it up?

I’ll never look at politics the same way again.



Thoughts and ruminations from S-R columnist Doug Clark