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Clarksville

Weird things to see while you’re driving

Politicians, I’ve always believed, are the same jerks we hated in high school.

Which is why I nearly swerved off the road at the sight of a large black-and-white sign that rose out of the weeds on the south side of I-90, near the Pines exit.

“Vote for Jesus,” it read.

Vote for WHO?

I didn’t know the Lord was running for office.

Government is the refuge of pimps, scalawags and weasels.

What’s going on?

Throwing caution to the heavenly breezes, I pulled off onto the side of the highway. I got out of my truck, trying to ignore the constant “whoosh” of speeding traffic, not to mention a county sheriff’s car that passed seconds after I stopped.

Thank God he kept going.

Had he stopped, I had no clue how to explain what I was doing.

DEPUTY – “So why are out of your truck, wandering around on the edge of a dangerous busy freeway?”

DOUG – “Well, sir, I felt this calling, you know, from on high. Something or someone told me to get out and take a photo of that Vote for Jesus sign.”

DEPUTY – “I know exactly what you mean. In fact, I think Jesus just told me to write you a ticket. Whataya think of that?”

DOUG – “I guess the Lord really does work in mysterious ways.”

Fortunately for me, I snapped my photo and drove off like a thief in the night.

Now only questions remain, like…

What office is Jesus running for?

Is Jesus a Democrat or a Republican?

Could He be running for Spokane mayor so Condon doesn’t break the Curse of the One-Term Mayor?

Don’t campaign signs have to show party affiliation to be legal?

Jesus wouldn’t break the election laws, would he?

And where do we go to vote?

Is this a mail-in ballot or do we wait for a dove to fly down and pick it up?

I’ll never look at politics the same way again.




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Thoughts and ruminations from S-R columnist Doug Clark