Community Comment

Ten Ways to tell the Fire is out...

Good morning, Netizens...

For the benefit of those of us who live outside the fire zone of the Valley View fire, but who are curious if the fire has really descended from front page news to “also ran”, here are ten ways to tell the Valley View Fire is really over:

1. I'll bet NOBODY builds recreational fires on vacant parcels of land anymore. Ever! Not even neighborhood kids.
2. Any smoke in the sky is now nearly always coincidental and in direct proportion to the number of high-end barbecues being held by those who managed to survive the fire unscathed.
3. Randy Shaw and Nadine Woodward have accrued time off although reruns of their performances during the height of the fire will undoubtedly be fodder for KREM-2's advertising blitz machine. That most-certainly will last forever.
4. The rubber-neckers and touristas have diverted their attention to other disaster areas, other tourist locations.
5. Thus far, there are no socials, dinners or other benefit parties for the victims of the Valley View Fire. However, there are lots and lots of insurance adjusters and lawyers attempting to descend like locusts, but alas this is a gated community. Even locusts need an invitation to get inside the gates.
6.The wealthy and ultra-wealthy who live atop the hill have gone back into affordable anonymity, and are only seen with appropriate amounts of makeup and proper attire for public viewing.
7.Most of the area residents now have well-defined clear spaces around their homes, free of pine needles and other combustible materials, some for the first time since Firestorm 91.
8.Pictures of the burned-out Mercedes and Jaguar no longer have that same “shock-and-awe” value they once had.
9.The petty burglars and vandals who began their reign of terror as soon as the fire was out have gone back to their own neighborhoods looking for new victims.
10.Most area swimming pools atop the hill are once more put to use for their intended purposes.

Yes, the fire is out. Nothing to see here folks, so move along...

Dave




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