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Early morning reverie July 30, 2008

Good morning, Netizens...

It was a bit cold this morning as I wandered into the Virtual Garden from the street, with the Nehi Cola Thermometer proudly hanging from over the doorway to the Virtual Ballroom sitting at just 52 degrees. I chuckled to myself at seeing the Garden Gnomes, already up and about tending their chores, because they all were wearing heavy wool coats, as if it were already winter again. I remember one time a decade or so ago that the needle on the antique Nehi thermometer was so far below -10 degrees it nearly broke off. The actual temperature that day was -33, but the part that made the day so memorable is it didn't break any records for being the coldest day.

As I sit down in my favorite bar stool at the Virtual Espresso Bar, I'm suddenly uncertain who our barrista of the day might be, as it seems as if he/she is made up of several different personalities. Combine the hair of Phyllis Diller, the hook nose of several persons of Palestinian descent, the unspeakably large eyes of the late William F. Buckley just before he pounced on someone who disagreed with his viewpoint and the most-unique eyebrows I've seen. Yes, they form one continuous line across his/her head.

“Since you appear to be asking yourself, I am called Abstract,” the ghost announced, as it shifted its color from flesh to something approximating puce, then reverting to a pale vibrating orange color. “Our espresso of the day is called “Multiple Persuasions”. Given the way you bob and weave about in your task of running The Virtual Ballroom it is something you may find useful, indeed.”

When confronted with a ghost of so many different components who changes its color more often than some people change socks, especially before my first cup of espresso of the day, I grasped the coffee cup Abstract had placed before me with all the tenacity with which a person drowning grabs onto a lifeguard. I took a sip, then waited patiently for the magic of our espresso to kick in. Nothing. Another hit, this time a deeper sip. Still nothing.

Suddenly it dawned on me. Of course it wouldn't affect me. I'm already committed to Multiple Persuasions. However, just wait until everyone else in the Virtual Ballroom gets a taste of THIS fine brew!


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Spokesman-Review readers blog about news and issues in Spokane written by Dave Laird.