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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Community Comment

New Atomic Element Discovered on the Internet…

Good morning, Netizens...

Algorp gave us the Internet, which was defined by science as a infinite quantity. When you add the energy generated by half a million bloggers per second, you generate newfound infinite boggling. From there, we obtain new atomic mass and a new atomic element is defined.

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[Taken from the Internet and, because Algorp created the Internet, it has to be accurate.

Dave



Spokesman-Review readers blog about news and issues in Spokane written by Dave Laird.