Good morning, Netizens…
I have been in and out of the Virtual Ballroom and the Virtual Garden all summer long, but only long enough to have a quiet cup of Virtual Espresso, exchanging casual conversations with the various ghosts that have served as the barrista of the day, perhaps to appreciatively listen to some of the music being played by the Virtual Orchestra. For some unexplained reason our orchestra this summer has taken to playing really eccentric music, things by classical composers that have long since been buried in our collective histories, things that even the most-dedicated classicists would recall.
The Garden Gnomes who tend the lush Virtual Garden, either through magic or sheer pluck, have managed to raise a respectable garden of vegetables and delightful flowers that adorn the stone walkways throughout the garden, despite the heat of July and the chilly weather of August. If the casual were to go looking for the Gnomes during the worst of the strange weather we’ve had this summer, you would like as not note they were missing, for during the worst of the heat, the Gnomes were taking shelter beneath the giant, uncontrollable rhubarb plants that grow unrepentant toward the rear of the rear garden wall, and during the recent chill, staying deep underground in their warm burrows. It has been only at twilight and daybreak, that they have been visible, hard at work at weeding and harvesting. Oh, my Lord we have cucumbers!
Perhaps the most dramatic event to take place all summer has been the arrival of Probius Phoont, who has appeared in the Virtual Ballroom recently.
Nobody, not even the ghost of the Greek dramatist Aeschylus, who frequently comes by to recite some of his own ancient verse while serving Virtual Espresso at the bar, who seems to know far more about everyone in the Virtual Ballroom than anyone, does not know the origins of Probius. Of him, Aeschylus states, “That is the only spirit who has an uncertain past, present and future, but who seems to know or presume a great deal about everyone and everything in the Virtual Ballroom. Be his assumptions correct or in err largely remains to be seen.”
Thus it was in the half-light of early morning, I came to meet this strangest of all Spirits in the Virtual Ballroom, as once more he was serving as the barrista of the day. Attired in a plum-colored robe that rippled as he moved up and down the counter, with a brass-colored helmet atop his head, Probius Phoont slid a cup of orange espresso tinged with streaks of chartreuse in front of me, and tapping it meaningfully with his forefinger stated, “It has no need of a name. Unlike most things of nature, its presence requires no name. Simply imbibe it, bask in its ambience and move onward.”
Taking a tentative sip, and finding it extremely pleasurable, I gazed on this odd spirit and asked, “Who are you, Probius? That is a question everyone in the Virtual Ballroom seems to be asking. No one seems to know where you originate nor how you came to be here.”
“I am the ghost half-brother of a cartoon character known as Flakey Foont which was drawn by R. Crumb back in the 60’s and 70’s.
My mouth fell agape. We have ghosts in the Virtual Ballroom, but now we have a ghost of a cartoon character’s half-brother? Will miracles never cease?