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Things to sell more newspapers…

Good morning, Netizens...

Early last Sunday morning, because I chanced to be sitting in my lawn chair about the time the Sunday morning newspapers were being delivered by a kid traveling with an adult, I began seeing a different vision of the newspaper business.

Within two blocks of Hillyard, the tow-headed boy jumped out of the car and delivered a total of 7 newspapers on front doorsteps in two city blocks. A total of 7 newspapers in approximately 30 houses doesn't seem like much of an enterprise to me. Perhaps that is why so many newspapers have gone under in the last year.

Later Sunday morning, my beloved spouse and I attended the movie Harry Potter, the Half Blood Prince, and while I was waiting around in the theater lobby, I asked ten adults a key question thus:

Did you read J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter The Half Blood Prince or any other of the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling prior to seeing the movie?

Eight adults answered they had not, as of yet, purchased The Half Blood Prince, and were uncertain whether they would do so in the near-future, but they were there accompanying their children. Incredible as it might seem, two adults claimed to have never heard of J.K. Rowling, but they had heard of Harry Potter. One daring old grump looked me right in the eye and stated he was there as a representative of his church to see what all this business of magic being taught by the schools was about. That was interesting.

Of all the children aged ten or older that I interviewed, all except for one had read all the books in the Harry Potter series. Incredible! That is a lot of reading for a kid.

Wanting to merge what I had observed of the Sunday papers being delivered with the continuing popularity of the Harry Potter books and movies, the Spokesman needs:

A director of the regulation of magic, whose job it would be to regularly post public messages about illicit magic being performed in City Hall, often without any public notice whatsoever. These stories should be written in a fictional genre, although these days most press releases that come out of City Hall qualify as sensationalistic fiction to begin with.

Additionally, create a column regarding the regulation of magical creatures. All you would have to do is fictionalize a series about the Goths, indigents and other street people that frequent downtown, without naming names, of course.

Am I on a roll here? Do you have any other departments and/or titles you would like to see appearing in the morning papers that might attract kids?


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Spokesman-Review readers blog about news and issues in Spokane written by Dave Laird.