Spokane7
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Good morning, Netizens…
Now that President Obama has declared Swine Flu an emergency priority, here are some things our government might do to prepare us for the coming Apocalypse.
Ban all pig feed lots, mud bogs and other places where pigs do those gross and nasty things that pigs do while smacking their porcine lips and leering speculatively at you through their white eyelashes.
Warn nation’s children to stay away from all swine, either two-legged or four-legged, but especially the latter.
If your ham hocks become infected during dinner, build a tall wall of mashed potatoes to prevent contamination of your peas.
Distribute both real flu shots to all government employees and Fortune 500 employees. Everyone else can stand in lines and wait until more shots are available or die waiting.
Check all pig visas to see if they have been traveling to other countries. They don’t have a visa? Tell them to get a Master Card or else deport them.
Remind citizens that the swine flu emergency gives you the perfect excuse to ignore relative’s requests for a Thanksgiving or Christmas get-togethers.
Create a high-level government cooperative involving all aspects of the federal government in case the crap really hits the fan.
Dave
999 W. Riverside, Spokane, WA 99201
P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210
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Lewis on October 28 at 10:36 a.m.
While grocery shopping the other day I was shocked to see an olive bar with all kinds of olives and such out in open air.
I remember years ago when they decided donuts could not be out in the open air and had to be put in plastic bins with doors. How is it we have an epidemic, and the deli areas of stores have all this food right out in the air? Fruits and vegetables can be washed before eating but an olive from Greece isn’t going to get washed off it will destroy the flavoring.
What keeps a sick person from coughing on or touching the olives you are going to pay 6 bucks a pound for? Nothing.
Who is protecting the consumer in all this? I would think trying to prevent people from getting it would be somewhere close to the top of the “how do we control this outbreak” list. Instead it is get the shot get the shot.
Stores could offer wipes or the shopping carts, some do. Get all the raw foods under cover, make people use tongs to pick stuff up not their hands, simple stuff. This flu as I have understood is airborne. So you can get it just from being around someone who has it or touching something a infected person does and then touching your nose.
My doctor told me the best preventative I can do is, wash my hands a lot, don’t touch my face, gargle with warm salt water every night before bed, snuff some salt water every night, and drink lots of hot liquids. Apparently it has an incubation period of 2-3 days so you can get rid of it with a little extra effort..
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Lewis on October 28 at 10:39 a.m.
If you don’t believe it is an epidemic go visit a hospital they are full to the brim w/ flu patients.
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