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Beauty is as beauty does…

Good morning, Netizens...

Don't hand me a pretty face and expect I will immediately automatically gush, feel a heart throb and feel sexually attracted. At my ripened age of 64, while I might still feel that swooning sensation for my beknighted, gorgeous wife with bedroom eyes, it more often than not is a passing thing. Where we once rattled the pictures off the wall with our lusty cavorting around, these days we seldom even wake the cats.

Gorgeous is as gorgeous does, folks. That pit-bull of an actress, the late Anne Ramsey pictured here, who was nominated for an Academy Award for her role as Momma in Danny DeVito's “Throw Momma from the Train” has come to epitomize what I often irreverently refer to as my “arch heroine” because not only was she a good and durable actress, but she was so homely it nearly hurt my eyes to look at her. As if to add insult to her appearance, Ms. Ramsey suffered with slurred speech, which was caused by the partial removal of her tongue and jaw as a result of a cancer operation and yet she persisted in cinema.

Don't misinterpret my meaning. There are members of the opposite sex who age with grace and dignity, and I eternally will remember them in all my orisons. However, there are women who, through no fault of their own, are just as homely as dirt, unprepossessing and as simple as Ma Kettle. Of course if you are old enough to remember seeing Ma and Pa Kettle on the Big Screen, you may already be feeling the evil fingers of age working you over. Perhaps not.

Judging by the news anchors and weather reporters for the various TV stations, I may be in the minority in my lack of regard for feminine beauty.

I personally believe, since we cannot get Jason Kadah back, we should hold a seance for the ghost of Anne Ramsey and put her in charge as the morning weather forecaster at KREM-TV. Of course, if Ramsey is keeping to her character in the Afterlife, if you won't like the weather forecast today, she might threaten to smack you in the backside with a big stick.

While Anne Ramsey doing the morning weather on KREM might not work, I would hazard a guess that it would never be boring.


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Spokesman-Review readers blog about news and issues in Spokane written by Dave Laird.