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Community Comment

Thu., Aug. 19, 2010, 6:07 a.m.

Ever used a privy before?

Huffington Post
Huffington Post

Good morning, Netizens...

Some of the youngsters reading this message probably never spent any of their youthful lives sitting in a privy, although once when I complained about sitting in the privy during a real blizzard with a lantern for lighting, I was told by one of my elders “it builds character”. During the summer, you have to dodge hornets, bees and other things that sting, all that seem to have an extreme affinity for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Picture this: you have just settled down for answering nature's call, your copy of Successful Farming, Prairie Farmer, Home and Garden or whatever other reading material was left by the privy's former tenant, settling down over the hole when, from down below you, you hear the ominous sound of a angry bee/hornet warming up for a quick run at whatever parts of your privates that seem reasonable. It is amazing how quickly you can freeze in place. When the angry buzzing from below stops, you begin to relax, only to freeze another round as it begins.

Even better, imagine feeling nature's call when all the pipes in the house are frozen tighter than a gnat's behind, and armed with a lantern for light and heat(because the power is out as well) you head for the privy. Cold? I am talking temperatures down into the tweens, between absolutely frozen guaranteed to freeze all contact with exposed flesh, and beyond. Hang your privates into that.

There are still places in the Heartland of our great country where privies are used, some with more frequency than others. I personally believe one of the questions on the U.S. Census form should be, “Have you ever used a privy?”. That way we could tabulate Americans with character.

The picture is taken from a calendar displayed on Huffington Post. A privy with lighting? What good is that when the power is out? You still need a lantern once the power goes out.


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Spokesman-Review readers blog about news and issues in Spokane written by Dave Laird.