Good morning, Netizens…
As I told several concerned Netizens over the last few days, I have been absent without official leave simply because I have been working more than usual for this time of year. A client’s broken server, a failed drive and several other technical issues more diverse than I would have expected just shy of Christmas, and there wasn’t enough time left at the end of the day to do more than fall into bed.
In the aftermath, while I was suited up for my early morning regimen, my puffy green bathrobe firmly affixed to keep the neighbors from summoning police (the neighbors seem to get hysterical when I sit visible in the window in my birthday suit), I am sipping a cup of my favorite Vietnamese coffee which is perpetually close to hand and watching the television morning news with a jaundiced eye since they are absolutely ecstatic over the early shopping results, and I do not trust their statistics any more than I trust their weather forecasts.
Then an advertisement for Churchill’s on Post Street on KREM-2 got me thinking because, prior to this time I had heard several positive comments about their cuisine. While their culinary skills might be superb, their taste in advertising left me busting a gut. There were three scenarios in this ad: In the first script some lothario, unquestionably under the influence of testosterone overdosing, calls for his date and takes her to a restaurant which, for the sake of the lawyers, is unfortunately not visible. After dinner, she shakes his hand at the door, leaving him unrequited. In the second script, once again a young beau picks up his date and takes her out to another unnamed eatery, and once again, the lady lets him kiss her on the cheek, and that is that. The last vignette, however, the young couple go to Churchill’s, plainly visible on several occasions. As they are parting at her door, she grabs him by the tie and drags him inside her residence where they ostensibly spend the rest of the night either coupling with wild abandon, or perhaps they are discussing the superb dinner they just ate. You choose.
I can almost see it now, a young man-about-town summons his lawyer, suing for false advertising, after taking his significant other to Churchill’s and spending a veritable fortune on a good repast. Rather than drag him into the house as per the Churchill’s ad, she adroitly tosses him into the English Thornbush immediately by her door and summons her pit bull to discard of the evidence.
In my opinion, this ranks quite high on Dave’s Scale for a sleazy ad. Do not expect that just because you took your favorite person to Churchill’s means you are going to move expediently to boom boom in the living room. You might end up in a thorn bush, instead.