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Spokane Stupid, put the marmots to good use…

Good morning, Netizens…

Well, it’s official, if you can take the word of an East Coast Groundhog. We’re in for six more weeks of winter.

Famed weather prognosticating groundhog Punxsutawney Phil made his annual prediction while being held by Co-Handler Ben Hughes on Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, on the 124th Groundhog Day, February 2, 2010. Phil saw his shadow, predicting six more weeks of winter. REUTERS/Jason Cohn

Oh, great! According to Phil’s prediction this morning, we are going to continue to have another six weeks of winter-like weather. Our winter this year has been more in keeping with lawn chairs, Sea-and-Ski suntan lotion than heavy-duty snow removal equipment. However, were Phil in residence in Spokane, he would not have seen his shadow, which might mean winter is over.

What we need here in Spokane is an equally well promoted animal to accurately predict how long winter will last each year. Since we have an apparent surplus of the little furry creatures, I was thinking along the line of Spokane Stupid, a marmot that resides next door to our own City Hall. I was originally thinking of getting a cranky, morose badger for this job, but since marmots seem less-likely to remove body parts with one crunch of their jaws, marmots it is.

Fresh from her high-visibility role in Washington DC newsbytes, Queen Mary Verner could make it happen with just a wave of her magic scepter. On cue, she whips out Spokane Stupid from his burrow, and marmots being smarter than your average house cat, would immediately piddle on Queen Mary’s designer jacket, revealing his displeasure at being manhandled in front of the TV cameras and throngs of people.

However, this morning, he would not see his shadow, which means winter is coming to an end.

I’m delighted I was able to debunk the claims of Punxsutawney Phil.


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