To: Peter Jennings, Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw, Chris Matthews, Aaron Brown, Judy Woodruff, Al Hunt, Mark Shields, George Stephanopolous, Keith Olberman, Tim Russert, Margaret Carlson, Juan Williams, Terry McAuliffe, Tom Harkin, Tom Daschle, Nancy Pelosi, Ted Kennedy, Al Gore, Howard Dean, Kofi Annan, Hans Blix, Wesley Clark, Merrill McPeak, William Crowe, Ann Lewis, Tad Devine, Bob Schrum, The Entire NPR Staff, Mary Mapes and the staff of 60 Minutes, Gwen Ifle, Molly Ivans, Katie Couric, Laurence O’Donnell, Maureen Dowd, Barbra Streisand, Bill Mahr, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Rob Reiner, Martin Sheen, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, George Soros, Dennis Kucinich, Nicholas Kristof, Richard Cohen, Paul Krugman, Bob Herbert, and all the other "superior," lefty/lib, socialist, hand-wringing, one-worlder, redistributionist, race-baiting, class-envy types who disgracefully used Iraq bad news and rejoiced as the numbers of casualties mounted to fuel their drive for power, and who think they know better than the American people:

We, the patriotic American people, won the election yesterday and defeated the treasonous John Kerry despite the most fervent, unethical, illegitimate, and illegal efforts of all of you, and leftist academics, limousine liberals, Hollywood traitors, politically-ambitious lefty generals, the ACLU, socialist crazies, and other America-haters. Now shut (expletive deleted)up and let the PEOPLE run the government without being lectured by the likes of you whiners.

For your information, I have arranged a wide selection of non-stop flights to Paris, Pyongyang, Tehran, Moscow, Berlin, Madrid, Mexico City, Ottawa, Hanoi, Havana and the other locales you favor, where the uneducated, uncultured, unsophisticated, flag-waving, gun-toting, Bible-clutching rubes that refused to listen to your considered wisdom cannot be found.

Please leave at your earliest convenience.

If none of these capital cities meets with your approval, connections to many wretched, third world hell-holes are available (like Maputo, Mozambique, ancestral home of the would-be First Lady, African-American Ter-ay-za Heinz), where you can mingle with the kind of people you love, and for whom you would empty America's treasury if you were ever to ascend to power.

Call Lenin/Lamumba Leisure Travel at 666-666-1917.

Buh-bye.

D.P. Bond

PS: Although Waziristan is lovely this time of year, I'd advise against traveling there. As you well know, Mr. Bin-Laden is the most noted resident of the region, and while he hates all westerners in general, he has particular scorn for those that espouse the liberalism, atheism, secularism, abortion, hedonism, and socialism you all adore. So, don’t go losing your heads by traveling there.

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