First, you should know that a CPD Blue was summoned to a local family’s home at 7:45 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 3, to take a report about a 16-year-old runaway/statutory rape victim. Onward. Later, the CPD Blue spotted the alleged victim at the East Tubbs Hill Park with two galpals. They all spoke and moved lethargically, but they denied they were doped up. Seems Not-So-Sweet 16 had tested positive in a home drug test. None of the three was thinking straight when they told the officer that “they were out on a dog walk during which (Sweet 16’s) dog was killed by another dog.” A story like that, of course, is easy to verify. The CPD Blue called the girl’s mother “and learned the dog was miraculously safe and content at her feet.” Another Festivus miracle.