1. Who needs ‘em? My vote counts more if they stay home.
2. Quit showing “Seinfeld” reruns, so they have to find something else to do after work
3. Direct mail a voter’s guide to every registered voter
4. Jail every 10th one of them to scare them to the polls
5. Vote by mail
Feedback: Screw ‘em if they can’t take a vote — Dang.