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Best of Huckleberries (Cont.) 11/7-11/05

First, you should know that two young white girls from Bakersfield, Calif., Lamb and Lynx, sing racist songs about white pride – a white version of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, according to columnist D. Parvaz/Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Onward. Seems L&L’s mother is considering relocating to the Northwest because she doesn’t think Bakersfield is white enough. Which is about the point in the Nov. 8 column when Parvaz began chanting: “Please make it Idaho, please make it Idaho.” Old stereotypes die hard. To Parvaz’s credit, she stopped herself, realizing that it’s unfair to wish L&L “on the good people of Idaho” and that she’d read in a Christian Science Monitor story that the number of racist skinheads had doubled nationwide. The story was datelined Marysville, Wash. Parvaz’s response: “Marysville? Crap. Is Washington a white supremacist magnet? This is more than just a PR problem.” Huckleberries response to all of this? Please make it Washington. Please make it Washington.

Quotable Quote
“As a young airman (approximately 1976) in the Air Force, I was deeply affected when a chief master sergeant (translation: God) took the time to write my parents a letter after I won an award which praised them and thanked them for instilling such strong values in me. My parents, in their mid-eighties still have that letter displayed in their home. Over the years, I followed his lead more than once and firmly do believe that many of the greatest characteristics in our veterans were created by their families and the values displayed in the home” – Hayden’s Doug Fredericks last week in observance of Veterans Day. Bingo.

Razzberries, Or …
… “Whatcha gonna do when Hayden dumps 144,000 gallons of poo into your drinking water upstream?” Dept.: 1. Sell your home to a rich, unsuspecting Californian and move to another part of town, 2. Figure out whom to sue, 3. Look up the word A-Q-U-I-F-E-R in the dictionary,” 4. Take the Alfred E. Neuman approach: What? Me Worry? Or 5. Beware of the, ahem, floaties coming out of the tap.

Poet’s Corner
“This month, turkeys/are selected:/some get stuffed and/some elected” – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“November Ritual”).

So, why didn’t that Lapwai, Idaho, fifth-grader who attended a recent University of Idaho seminar want to eventually attend the Moscow college? Quoth he: "One reason I don’t want to go to Idaho is that I want to play football, and I want to win.” Ouch … Jana Jones, a Demo candidate for Idaho Superintendent of Schools, launched her campaign poorly when she labeled the subject line in her press release: “Candadicy Announcement”cq … Izzit me – or is there something not quite right about Hooters sponsoring a recent KREM-2 segment – about breast cancer survival? … Why was the former North Idaho AIDS Coalition director excited when he crossed part of the Pacific for a similar job in Maui? Quoth Keith Wolter in The Maui News: “It’s getting really cold in Spokane.” Cold? Spokane? You wouldn’t believe this guy once was a pastor of a church in Brrr-illingscq, Mont. … Yeah, that 21 percent voter turnout in Kootenai County was lousy. But not as awful as the one turned in at the University of Idaho, where only 29 students – 29! – of some 13,000 voted in the Moscow city elections (according to the UI Argonaut). Yeah, yeah, many are from elsewhere. But many are also registered in Latah County. Mebbe civics should be a required course.

Parting Shot
As a cop, you know you’re in for an interesting night on the Palouse when a woman from the west side calls to say that her husband was getting directions from a hitchhiking ghost on how to get from Pullman to Colfax. This, according to the Colfax Daily Bulletin. Colfax officers Bryce Nebecq and Robert Wridecq were on the lookout for a Chevy Tahoe when the woman called back and said the ghost disappeared near a local Chevron. Remember this was in early November. Mebbe the gas prices on the readerboard scared what was left of the life out of Caspar.

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Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.