Huckleberries Online

SUNDAY, SEPT. 11, 2005, 1:24 A.M.

Whippersnapper’s Peeves

You can have my owl stare...

*As you pretend not to notice that you are walking away from the steaming pile of fresh doggie doo your beloved dog just deposited in the middle of the Tubbs Hill trail...

*as you launch your new cigarette boat with deafening double over-transom exhausts with no mufflers (hoping someone of the opposite sex will see you've spent $50K on a ride to Arrow Point)...

*while you use profanity, in front of my kids, to describe innocuous daily annoyances...

*while you give a loud blow-by-blow account of the obvious parts of each scene to your movie-going friends and those around you in a darkened theater where I just paid $8 for the privilege of being near you (yes, even if you whisper, we can hear you quite clearly)...

*if you are unable to hang up the cell phone long enough to greet the clerk at Fred Meyer during a transaction because you need to blather on about ABSOLUTELY nothing, but feel important doing so...

*as I overhear you telling the school principal that your child was fighting and bullying because he's "gifted" and not being "challenged" by school work...


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Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.



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