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Huckleberries Online

How to Scare Californians from Moving Here

Tell them:

*Chevy Yukons are banned
*Double Parking at Starbucks is banned
*Your kids have to play Parks & Rec soccer, no Sting Elite Soccer allowed
*You can't play all day on your out of state equity, you have to work for N Idaho wages
*We salt the roads and your precious cars will rust
*We bus in illegal immigrants by the thousands
*Your wife can't own a hobby business that loses money all year long
*Forty year old men can't wear their baseball hats backwards
*Every single solitary 40-year-old women can't have blonde hair in a ponytail
*Jet skis are for kids only
*The only beer here is Pabst Blue Ribbon. We never heard of Corona.
*All of our houses look unique. There are no housing developments.
*Finally, if you get bored here, you have to wait ten years to go back where your playmates are.


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Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.