Huckleberries Online

How to Scare Californians from Moving Here

Tell them:

*Chevy Yukons are banned
*Double Parking at Starbucks is banned
*Your kids have to play Parks & Rec soccer, no Sting Elite Soccer allowed
*You can't play all day on your out of state equity, you have to work for N Idaho wages
*We salt the roads and your precious cars will rust
*We bus in illegal immigrants by the thousands
*Your wife can't own a hobby business that loses money all year long
*Forty year old men can't wear their baseball hats backwards
*Every single solitary 40-year-old women can't have blonde hair in a ponytail
*Jet skis are for kids only
*The only beer here is Pabst Blue Ribbon. We never heard of Corona.
*All of our houses look unique. There are no housing developments.
*Finally, if you get bored here, you have to wait ten years to go back where your playmates are.


You must be logged in to post comments. Please log in here or click the comment box below for options.

comments powered by Disqus
« Back to Huckleberries Online

Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.




Contact the Spokesman

Main switchboard:
(509) 459-5000
(800) 338-8801
(509) 459-5400
(800) 789-0029
Customer service:
(800) 338-8801