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Mailbag: Modern Femme Sexual Mores

Sara: "Feminine" and "masculine" aren't really relevant to ethical behavior. You're totally misconstruing the sexual freedom women have availed themselves of to say that "women think that if they want to be liberated they need to act like immoral men." You may not be comfortable with one-night stands or other expressions of sexuality that aren't traditionally associated with women, but there are a lot of women who are. I think it's a pretty big stretch to say that raunchy behavior is "immoral," even if you don't want to participate in it or be around it. (You can read Sara's entire post in the thread here).

DFO: I'm amazed that some feminists consider sexual freedom a plus for their movement. Free love, as we called it in the '60s, is a minus, for both the men and women who participate in it. I can't speak for women. But I'd say that men lose a piece of their soul every time they're involved in one-night stands or uncommitted relationships. After awhile, they see women only as sex objects and lose their ability to have a meaningful, committed relationship. They're haunted by the ghosts of relationships past. I'd guess it's as bad for women who've had many partners. Mebbe worse. Sexual freedom extracts a heavy price.

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Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.