A zoo official holds a seven-day old Stump-Tailed macaque at the state zoological park in Gauhati, India, in this file photo. Though the Center for Disease Control and Prevention has prohibited importation of most monkeys as pets since 1975, some macaques imported for research are now being sold on the open market. You write the cutline. (AP Photo/Anupam Nath/File)

Top Cutlines

1. Albert Einstein showed up today at a meeting of the International Astronomical Union. The 127-year old physicist seemed to show few ill effects from his recent journey to Alpha Centauri -- Tom Forbes/Palousitics.

2. Michael Moore displays his winning entry on the new hit TV show "So You Think You Got Belly Button Lint" -- Pickaxe Pete/Brodie Specter, and: Hanford down-winder "Mac" said he wasn't looking for a handout from the government, just a helping hand now and then -- Brent Andrews/Chronic Discontent.

3. Moments after Inspector Clousseau displays his "little minkey" to Chief Dreyfus (played by the immortal Herbert Lom), the poor man's head explodes -- John Austin.

HM: A Token D

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