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Huckleberries Online

Headlines @ Closin’ Time — 1/31/06

This photo was too darn cute to pass up: Cristian Ramirez, 5, left, and Marquise Malachi, 6, try out their new clown noses on each other, today in Spartanburg, S.C. Clowns from the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus came to the South Carolina School for the Deaf and the Blind and taught the children clown tricks. (AP photo)

*Excerpts from Bush's address tonight: 'Our greatness is not measured in power or luxuries, but by who we are'/Associated Press -- In case you want to get the gist of his speech without sitting through all that gratuitous clapping.

*Cindy Sheehan to attend Bush address: Rep. Lynn Woosley gives anti-war activist gallery pass late today/KNTV-TV, San Jose -- What are the odds of Sheehan sitting quietly through the speech? Betcha she'll get tossed for yelling something from her perch.

*John Roberts swears in Alito: Jurist takes both constitutional, judicial oaths/Associated Press -- OK, now let's overturn Roe v. Wade (gratuitous baiting of Sue up in Sandpoint). My guess? Roe v. Wade is safe. But we're finally going to rein it in somewhat with parental notification laws being upheld and partial-birth abortion being outlawed.

*Court: Partial-birth abortion ban unconstitutional: 9th Circuit panel cites measure's lack of exception for mother's health/Associated Press -- Good. The Roberts court is now in place to slap the clowns on the 9th circuit upside the head for this idiotic decision. Partial-birth abortion goes against a supermajority of public opinion. See previous item.

*Hillary raises over $21 million for Senate bid: Polls show her more than 25 points ahead of nearest GOP rival/Associated Press -- If Hillary didn't come across as an angry, white woman, she might have a chance at the presidency. She should pump all her money into the New York race because the U.S. Senate is about as far as she's going to go without divine intervention. (See poll showing her with only 16% national electoral support.)

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Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.