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Huckleberries Online

Top Cutlines — 7/6/06

A bear cub munches on a barbecue-chicken-and-jalapeno pizza in a 1964 Buick Skylark near Lake Tahoe, Nev., Sunday. Later, it washed down the pizza with a swig of a Jack Daniel's mixer, an Absolut vodka and tonic, and a beer taken from a cooler, the vehicle's owner said/. You write the cutline/AP Photo provided by Jerry Patterson via The Tahoe Daily Tribune.

Top Cutlines:

1. What, no bear claws?? -- TS.

2. Ever since the summer of 2004 when Yogi had been proven to not be smarter than the average bear after he wandered out in front of a speeding RV from South Dakota and had to be scraped up off the park road by Ranger Smith, Boo Boo had taken to breaking into convertibles and "getting grizzly" on all the booze he could steal and drink before Ranger Smith would trank dart him and relocate him to the heart of Jellystone Park, thus beginning the viciously sad cycle of unresolved grief and self medicating drunkeness again. It was becoming more than the peaceful creatures of the forest could bear. Next Week's Episode: Bambi facilitates an intervention -- Snagglepuss.

3. Jack spent all night hitting the Absolut vodka, but vowed to go on the wagon after sobering up and getting a good look at his date -- A Token D.

HM: John Austin & Family Phil

For all of today's cutline entries, click here.

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Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.