Huckleberries Online

TUESDAY, JULY 11, 2006, 12:15 P.M.

Peanut Gallery: What’s A Poor Rich Guy To Do?

Dennis: I read your rant last weekend about guys with big boats with blonde wives with big you know whats and I was struck by how petty you must be. You implied that you must have a larger male organ than these guys because they have big boats. Good for you Dave. That must be an exciting bunch of toothless drunken locals you hang out with that have nothing better to do than watch people park boats. If you were a better writer perhaps you wouldn't have to work for the Spokesman Review. You could make some real money and you wouldn't have to resent people that are affluent. What are rich people supposed to do Dave? Sit around thinking that they're better than other people? It seems to me that you and your local buddies have proved that it doesn't take money to do that.

DFO: Easy, Little Fella; I don't have problems with rich guys compensating for inadequacies by owning big boats. Or even piloting them on local waterways. But I do have trouble with rich fools with loud boats and ha-huge wakes that ruin the outdoor enjoyment of others. They remind me of a Let-'Em-Eat-Cake version of the punks in suped up cars who crank their stereos so high that you can hear the bass thumping four blocks away. If you're going to show off your wealth -- and by the way Coeur d'Loonians aren't even impressed with multimillionaires who are building a 30,000sf mansion in Palm Desert and once owned a 205-foot megayacht -- be quiet about it and don't let your trophy wife lounge around in a bikini on deck unless she has the shape for it.

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Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.