Advertise Here

Huckleberries Online

Here In Idaho: ‘I’ll Take My 40 Lashes Please’

Here In Idaho lists several violations of religious dogmas that could earn her 40 lashes a la Sudan justice (full post here):

1. I have a pet name for each of my appendages. My left leg is named ‘Muhammed.’ My bad.
2. In 1997 I made a offhand remark about the Heaven’s Gate Cult, I mean religion. Wanna hear it? Q: Why did all the Heaven’s Gate people kill themselves? A: So they could keep up with the Jones’! Hopefully those guys don’t come knocking down my door. Oh wait…they can’t.
3. I’m not a Catholic. Don’t tell the new Pope. He looks hardcore.
4. During my annual holy pilgrimage to the Ganges River, it occurred to me, briefly of course, that bathing in the water with thousands of other dirty people, might not be the fastest way to salvation. It also occurred to me that I’d rather be sitting in air conditioning than the bathing waters of India.
5. One time, during Bacchanalia, I didn’t drink any wine. I drank water instead, but pretended to be drunk. May Zeus strike me down.

Question: Have you done anything worthy of 40 lashes?

Please keep it civil. Don't post comments that are obscene, defamatory, threatening, off-topic, an infringement of copyright or an invasion of privacy. Read our forum standards and community guidelines.

You must be logged in to post comments. Please log in here or click the comment box below for options.

comments powered by Disqus
« Back to Huckleberries Online

Get blog updates by email

About this blog

D.F. Oliveria is a columnist and blogger for The Spokesman-Review. Print Huckleberries is a past winner of the Herb Caen Memorial Column contest by the National Association of Newspaper Columnists. The Readership Institute of Northwestern University cited this blog as a good example of online community journalism.

Find DFO on Facebook

DFO on Twitter

Betsy Russell on Twitter

HBO newsmakers Twitter list

Latest comments »

Read all the posts from recent conversations on Huckleberries Online.

Take this week's news quiz ›
Search this blog
Subscribe to this blog
Advertise Here