10. Can’t use floating golf green after last landing turned slow-putting pair into foursome.
9. Nothing says roughing it at the ol’ lake cabin like a copter run for Huddy Burgers.
8. Poor guy needs something to cheer him up after the city officials poured weedkiller on his plan to turn downtown Coeur d’Alene into a giant memorial garden.
7. Never know when you might have to fly off in the middle of the night to dump an environmentalist in the lake.
6. Wants Casco Bay neighbors to call him Lord Whirlybird.
5. Soothing “fwap-fwap-fwap” of helicopter blades drowns out annoying nature sounds from nearby wildlife refuge.
4. Able to shave 7.2 seconds off arduous two-minute commute from Casco Bay to Coeur d’Alene Resort Hotel.
3. Controversy over floating helicopter pad and Guam-size boat dock will divert public attention from real plan to build Vegas-style casino on Tubbs Hill.
2. Dang it all, Duane. It’s about time you spent some of that hard-earned money on yourself for a change.
1. Wants to put “Ha, ha. I have a floating helipad and you don’t!” in Hagadone Christmas newsletter.