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Huckleberries Online

Wed., Dec. 19, 2007, 8:44 a.m.

Ah’m Your Huckleberry — Suspicious Package

This Huck will be part of my Handle Extra column Saturday:

With the help of two CPD Blues and three Spokane bomb squaders, I survived the arrival of Marmitetoasty's Christmas card Tuesday. Marmitetoasty? She's a delightful Brit who hangs out at Huckleberries Online. Her card arrived unexpectedly via air mail in an odd-shaped, brown envelope, sans address, taped close. It looked suspicious -- so much so that I called Sgt. Christie Wood to see if I should open it. She sent the department bomb expert over to look at it. He stepped back when he saw it and called the bomb squad. You see, there were two suspicious prods nearly poking through the back of the envelope and something that looked like tiny wires. Two hours later, with the help of a robot and an X-ray machine, a bomb squadder declared the envelope safe, slit it open and handed me Marmitetoasty's card, with a raised Christmas tree on the front and three tiny, diamond-shaped ornaments, which had almost poked through the envelope. Inside, Marmitetoast wrote collequially: "Fanks for letting me be apart of your Dingleberries." On the back of the card, in small letters was the message: "Keep out of the reach of children due to small parts." Hey, that's better than "KABOOM!"

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Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.