The tampon and maxi pad manufacturers have gone a little Dr. Phil and begun packaging their feminine wares in wrappers printed with inspirational sayings. They’re like little ass-backwards fortune cookies with no treat inside. My personal favorite is “Have a happy period,” a phrase my mom found on a maxi pad wrapper. A “happy period?” That’s like wishing someone a “happy funeral” or a “pleasant death.” I was intrigued by Mom’s discovery. So much so that I just went to my bathroom cabinets to survey my own stockpile of feminine products. Sorry, guys. I probably just killed all of my male readership with talk of tampons and maxi pads. But if you have a wife or mother or sister or female colleague, you probably know that it’s just one of those facts of life. And just be glad you don’t have to suffer through a “happy period” every month -- Mommy Dearest/BrodH20.
DFO: I sure hope they don't start putting Bible verses on those wares and shopping them around at Christian bookstores.
Question (I'm trying to think of a question that won't get F-Words mad at me): Ah, is this appropriate?
/duck, run
D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.
manufacturers have gone a little Dr. Phil and begun packaging their feminine wares in wrappers printed with inspirational sayings. They’re like little ass-backwards fortune cookies with no treat inside. My personal favorite is “Have a happy period,” a phrase my mom found on a maxi pad wrapper. A “happy period?” That’s like wishing someone a “happy funeral” or a “pleasant death.” I was intrigued by Mom’s discovery. So much so that I just went to my bathroom cabinets to survey my own stockpile of feminine products. Sorry, guys. I probably just killed all of my male readership with talk of tampons and maxi pads. But if you have a wife or mother or sister or female colleague, you probably know that it’s just one of those facts of life. And just be glad you don’t have to suffer through a “happy period” every month -- Mommy Dearest/BrodH20.
