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FHB: 10 Good Things That Happen When Its Cold

“A cold front is on the way. This is my 30th Hauser winter, including the winter of 78-79 when it was below zero for 6 weeks. This year I decided to change my thinking. Instead of planning where I’m going to move, I made a list of good things that happen when it’s burry cold out” — Frum Helen Back/Hauser Thoughts.

10. Dog poop doesn’t stick to your shoes.
9. No need to lock the back door because it’s frozen shut.
8. The dogs don’t get on the sheets with muddy paws.
7. No need to worry about driving the car because it probably won’t start.
6. You don’t have to bathe the kids because the water pipes are frozen.
5. The house will get warm without electricity because it caught fire when you tried to thaw out the pipes. (Ask Gary Mobbs about the time the Globe had an article about him if you don’t believe me.)
4. If it gets below zero you can entertain yourself by throwing water in the air and watching it freeze before it hits the ground.
3. Your nose doesn’t run when you go outside. (Warning: It runs like a faucet when come inside.)
2. You get to buy new furniture because you use the old stuff for fuel in the wood stove when you run out of wood.

DRUM ROLL GOES HERE FOR THE NUMBER ONE GOOD THING THAT HAPPENS WHEN IT’S REALLY COLD OUT.

1. You can walk on water.

DFO: I’ve conquered the Wet Dog Fur Days of winter by declaring that it’s over on Feb. 2, Groundhog’s Day and my late father’s birthday. After that, I figure I can put up with a tantrum or two from Old Man Winter. But he’s on his way out. It definitely changed my thinking about the cold of winter and hassle of icy roads.

Question: What would you add to Helen’s list?


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About this blog

D.F. Oliveria is a columnist and blogger for The Spokesman-Review. Print Huckleberries is a past winner of the Herb Caen Memorial Column contest by the National Association of Newspaper Columnists. The Readership Institute of Northwestern University cited this blog as a good example of online community journalism.

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