*Axels – Pawn shop where Spokane skating fans took their stereos, silverware and first-born sons for the cash to afford a season ticket to the championships.
*Double Axel – Return trip to hock the plasma screen for a second season ticket when your wife refuses to go to the Arena without you.
*Salchow – What a farmer has to do to afford tickets.
*Lutz – How much tickets cost, if you haven't already figured that out.
*Camel – Tonya Harding's brand.
*Compulsory dance – What seventh-grade boys hate about P.E.
And so much more in John's column today here.