Arrow-right Camera
The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Huckleberries Online

AM Hucks: Hot, Hunky, Able to Fillet Squirrel

At Huckleberries Online on Wednesday, Rainbow Sparkle Pony Angel and Whippersnapper (shown in parentheses) debated what North Idaho wimmen want in their men. RSPA: Owns two (2) 1986 Subaru Brats and one runs! (W: WRONG! The Nickels Worth ad clearly says "... neither runs, but could make one good one from the two cars ..." RSPA: Has jumper-cabled power AND cable TV to his singlewide. (W: WRONG! A woman oughta be fine with rabbit ears, else she's a golddigger.) RSPA: Can cook up a batch of meth while making Top Ramen for her 7 kids for dinner. (W: WRONG! Ramen takes three minutes; meth takes at least a day and half.) RSPA: Sexy SS, swastika and Peckerwood gang tattoos on his forehead. (W: WRONG! SS tattoos go on the neck, gang on the back and only the SWASTIKA on the forehead.) RSPA: Prison pecs! (W: WRONG! Women love biceps and needle tracks just as much as pecs.) RSPA: Likes slow moonlit drives in the rain while humming romantic country music songs and jack-lighting deer. (W: CLARIFICATION: A real woman can handle the spotlight while riding redneck in your 1974 Ford F250.) RSPA: Knows which beer to serve with squirrel. (W: WRONG: Squirrel only goes with malt liquor.) RSPA: Never forgets his wife's birthday because she's his twin! (W: WRONG! For the record, twins marryin' ain't common. Cousins are OK, if they're over 12.) Any questions?



Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.