1. Your 17 children are babysat at a backwoods daycare "Pine Vue Kiddy Kingdom" owned and operated by a Level 3 sex offender.
2. You take your pregnant 13 year old daughter to the Walmart to shop for baby clothes and you run into your neighbor who tells you "we was wonderin' if you was ever gonna get some grandkids, why she must be nearly 13 now, you gots some slow starters there!"
3. You haven't paid federal income taxes since 1986 and you have an old dot matrix printer in your basement just for printing homemade arrest warrants for federal judges.