Does anyone really enjoy Secret Santa? Is mistletoe just an excuse to grope the unsuspecting?
Here's some Christmas traditions some could do without:
Secret Santa: Here's the way Secret Santa should work: everyone in the office brings a $20, puts it in a hat, the hat gets shuffled up, and everyone takes out a $20. And then you say "Hey, $20! I can really use that! Thanks, Secret Santa!" and you go back to online shopping at your desk.
Leaving Anything Other than Cookies for Santa: Okay, you can get away with a carrot for the reindeer, but beyond that? Things are out of hand. The elves want midget porn, Ms. Claus wants some Midol, Frosty the Snowman's looking for something from one of the local dispensaries to fill that corncob pipe. Everyone's got their hands out nowadays.
(Though I totally disagree with the one about no stockings for your pets. Like Santa would forget Milo!)