On the subject of Colonoscopies … as related by a physician here are some actual comments made by patients (predominately male) during their colonoscopies (as related by humor columnist Dave Barry):   

1. ‘Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before! 
2. ‘Find Amelia Earhart yet?’ 
3. ‘Can you hear me NOW?’ 
4. ‘Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?’ 
5. ‘You know, in Arkansas , we’re now legally married.’ 
6. ‘Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?’ 
7. ‘You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…’ 
8. ‘Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!’ 
9. ‘If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit! 
10. ‘Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.’ 
11. ‘You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?’ 
12. ‘God, now I know why I am not gay.’    and …
13. ‘Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?’ “

Question: Got anything to add to the list?

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