Huckleberries Online

Barry: Colonoscopies For Dummies

Feb. 20, 2009 10:30 a.m. • 9 comments

On the subject of Colonoscopies … as related by a physician here are some actual comments made by patients (predominately male) during their colonoscopies (as related by humor columnist Dave Barry):

1. ‘Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. ‘Find Amelia Earhart yet?’
3. ‘Can you hear me NOW?’
4. ‘Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?’
5. ‘You know, in Arkansas , we’re now legally married.’
6. ‘Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?’
7. ‘You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…’
8. ‘Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!’
9. ‘If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!
10. ‘Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.’
11. ‘You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?’
12. ‘God, now I know why I am not gay.’ and …
13. ‘Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?’ “

Question: Got anything to add to the list?

Nine comments on this post so far. Add yours!

JeanieSpokane on February 20 at 11:03 a.m.
These are hilarious.

I think we should celebrate and make today, the 20th of February, HBO Colonoscopy Day. Maybe we could get a group discount?
Cabbage Boy on February 20 at 11:12 a.m.
How about a hat tip for the leafy one?

#14. This blog has taken a crappy turn recently.
JohnA on February 20 at 11:54 a.m.
My faves (actually used ‘em myself):

1 - “My wife said I was a tight azz, so be careful”.

2- “That hose is the size of a Peterbilt - does that mean I have a Semi-colon?”

3- “Hi Doc. Ream-ember me?”

4- “Sorry I’m so tired, I did ten polyups before I got here”.

I have others, but their not for a family blog like HBO.

Good luck and happy mining.
Escapee on February 20 at 7:08 p.m.
How about, “doctor, if we’re going to do this, shouldn’t you buy me a drink first?”
manoj87 on February 23 at 1:30 p.m.
The Career Center is a high school located in Winston-Salem, NC. It offers an extension to the regular high school program. Classes offered include Advanced Placement courses, career and technical education (CTE) courses, as well as English and other classes too small to be held at the regular high schools in the Winston-Salem/Forsyth County Schools program, such as Japanese and Chinese. It also offers extended day classes, which are classes held after school that allow students to “make up” a failed class in order to graduate. It leases its building to Gardner-Webb Technical University and Forsyth Technical Community College at night.

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manoj87
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http://www.coloncancer.bz -http://www.coloncancer.bz

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About this blog

D.F. Oliveria is a columnist and blogger for The Spokesman-Review. Huckleberries Online was judged the best 2008 Idaho newspaper blog by the Idaho Press Club. And the best 2007 news blog in the Pacific Northwest by the Society for Professional Journalist. Print Huckleberries is a past winner of the Herb Caen Memorial Column contest by the National Association of Newspaper Columnists. The Readership Institute of Northwestern University cited this blog as a good example of online community journalism.