Huckleberries Online

THURSDAY, MARCH 5, 2009, 8:11 A.M.

MikeK: Establishing Bladder Control

RE: DanG's criticism of Councilman MikeK's coffee break

More than a year ago, the LCDC installed an elaborate catheter and drainage system for me under the desks in the Council Meeting Room. It was expensive, but it allows me (with my admittedly small bladder) to drink more coffee than any small army could consume without having to get up and use the bathroom, thus ensuring I don't fall asleep, and to solve another problem which I'll also share in a moment. The problem we didn't foresee is that the coffee intake system they installed doesn't have near the capacity as the discharge system, so I have to continue to get up in order to keep the equilibrium of the coffee in-to-out ratio/Councilman MikeK, Huckleberries Online. Full post below.

Question: Do you have a problem with a council member leaving the chambers briefly to grab a cup of coffee and return?

Everyone, please, do me a favor and don't share what you are about to read with Mr. Gookin. I think he would be very upset with what I am going to disclose to all of you here.

More than a year ago, the LCDC installed an elaborate catheter and drainage system for me under the desks in the Council Meeting Room. It was expensive, but it allows me (with my admittedly small bladder) to drink more coffee than any small army could consume without having to get up and use the bathroom, thus ensuring I don't fall asleep, and to solve another problem which I'll also share in a moment.

The problem we didn't foresee is that the coffee intake system they installed doesn't have near the capacity as the discharge system, so I have to continue to get up in order to keep the equilibrium of the coffee in-to-out ratio. I would chalk this unfortunate error up to the Engineering department, but since I'm the liaison to the Engineering department, that wouldn't reflect well, so let's just move forward.

Now here's the kicker: the discharge system drains directly below the library, under McEuen Field, the resort, NIC (and the future Education Corridor) directly into the recently opened Riverstone Pond in the urban renewal district using high-tech wastewater “purple pipe”.

So now it can be made public - though I modestly didn't want to have to take credit for this before - I am personally and singlehandedly responsible for keeping the water level high at Riverstone Pond. I'm not drinking coffee because I WANT to, it's because I HAVE to. I've been ordered to do so by the LCDC Board.

Again, please don't tell anyone. While my “contributions” in this area would likely be regarded as noble by most, it's also sort of embarrassing. As a side note, this should help explain to those who wondered why there is a “no swimming” policy at Riverstone Pond.

Thanks for letting me clear the air on this.




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Huckleberries Online

D.F. Oliveria started Huckleberries Online on Feb. 16, 2004. Oliveria's Sunday print Huckleberries is a past winner of the national Herb Caen Memorial Column contest.








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