MamaJD: Hard Times For Tooth Fairy

27 comments on this post so far. Add yours!

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  toadman on March 06 at 3:25 p.m.

  $1 per tooth. No more, no less.

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  JeanieSpokane on March 06 at 3:33 p.m.

  Yikes! I got a DIME. If that doesn’t show my age I don’t know what.

• 

  Joker on March 06 at 3:36 p.m.

  We leave a note that says LCDC pay $100,000 if they grow a new tooth.

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  Cis on March 06 at 3:40 p.m.

  HOLY COW… I didn’t get anything when I was a kid… and my kids got a quarter… for the first two only…. (geesh, I am cheap)

  But at these rates, $5 a tooth, if I was the kid I would be pulling out more teeth..lol

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  Cabbage Boy on March 06 at 3:50 p.m.

  $5. Wow, one of the boys would be toothless if he knew he could get that. Mine get $.50 or so. If I remember. Once the tooth fairy had to make a quick visit while the child was sobbing to his mother. “See, it is right here. Are you sure you looked?”

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  Kage_Mann on March 06 at 3:51 p.m.

  I received a quarter, so I’m older than Toadman but, younger than Jeanie. ;-)

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  Cindy_H on March 06 at 4:01 p.m.

  Our kids get a dollar.
  When the Tooth Fairy remembers.
  Lately, she’s been mighty forgetful. I told Sam economical stresses are taking their toll and he may need to give the Tooth Fairy a couple days to make the swap.
  Sam is nine. He’s got three older brothers.
  He rolled his eyes and said, “How ‘bout you just give me the dollar?”

• 

  Sam on March 06 at 4:04 p.m.

  He’d never liked that name, “Tooth Fairy.” Scratching the hair below his navel — he was an inny — Larry thought of a few things he’d rather be called, pulling lint from the cavernous belly button he was spelunking.

  Capt. Canines. No: Mr. Munchers. Or RazorGums. He could have been a villain.

  But dad had made him keep the family business going. No RazorGums villainy for Larry, who now donned wings three sizes too small and had a closet full of pink T-shirts that fit better on Cupid than the barfly bod that Larry rocked, in his own opinion, thank you very much.

  Slowly lifting one leg over the window sill, he felt his tights stretch out to maximum load. Maybe those last Pilsners hadn’t been a good idea before he took flight. He’d thought he’d been a little weighed down, and that confused him, because his bag was ever lighter.

  He lifted his other leg through the window and tip-toed over to the bed. Jimmy Smart. The kid was a tooth-giving machine. Larry had been impressed. He’d already been over to Jimmy’s three times that year. Maybe it was time to do a little bit of an investigation, like looking into the alleged misdeeds of an insurance fraudster. Maybe little Jimmy was running a teething Ponzi scheme of his own.

  But, with no proof, Larry didn’t have much. He flicked the lint away and reached for the tooth. And then, oh no! Jimmy popped one eye open, then the other.

  Larry definitely should have skipped those Pilsners.

  “Quiet, kid, don’t say nothin’,” Larry said, jabbing one finger toward Jimmy. “Yer gonna git the money, alright? But don’t go all Little Bo Peep on me. Hand me tha tooth.”

  Jimmy hadn’t been this freaked out since the time Mrs. Aloishus got so mad at Dennis Hill that she popped a blood vessel in her eye and for the rest of the day looked like some type of Hell Demon out of “The Adventures of Angel Boy.” Only, Jimmy didn’t remember any type of smell from his third grade teacher like the one coming from this big, hairy guy in pink. Were those wings? And tights? The … tooth fairy?

  Slowly reaching underneath his pillow, Jimmy grabbed the tooth and hesitantly handed it over to Larry.

  “Thatta boy. Oh, a good one. And call me Larry.”

  Larry popped his fresh treasure into the bag. It definitely felt lighter. He reached in, and Jimmy could hear a jingle. It sounded like the coins in a treasurer chest.

  The hulk of a fairy pulled out a quarter and flipped it up and over to Jimmy, who caught it in his hands. The boy looked down and as he looked up, he saw that Larry was already out the window, slowly ramping up to get his flight on.

  “God, those Pilsners.”

  “Hey, Mr!” Jimmy screamed, jumping out of bed and skidding over to the window. “Only a quarter? What is this, 1957?”

  “Sorry kid, we’re in a recession, ya know?”

• 

  JeanieSpokane on March 06 at 4:25 p.m.

  Excellent, Sam! I laughed my tush off.

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  Escapee on March 06 at 6:47 p.m.

  I don’t know how much the tooth fairy should bestow, but I do know my dentist charges $121 for an extraction, so that’s something…

• 

  Bent on March 06 at 11:06 p.m.

  “Lately, she’s been mighty forgetful…” — Cindy

  i remember waking up when I was maybe 10 years old and finding nothing under my pillow but the tooth was gone. I stripped the bed and looked everywhere for my my loot, but finding nothing, I woke my mom and shared the news.

  She cooked me breakfast and then said she was going to double check my bed for the loot and came back with three bucks…She said she found it under the bed, along with a note saying that I must have knocked the tooth under the bed while I was sleeping, and the fairly HAD to leave the money where she found the tooth…

  I’ve used that with my kids twice already

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  marmitetoasty on March 07 at 1:59 a.m.

  I still have the little hand written note that my Ben (who is now in his 20s) wrote to the toothfairy on the SECOND night that she forgot to leave any dosh LOL its in my box of treasured memories……

  x

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  marmitetoasty on March 07 at 2:01 a.m.

  Oh the STORY I have about teeth and me dishwasher LOL fanks for nudging yet another memory :)

  x

  ps…….. gross or what - I have a jar in the back of me knicker drawer that contains every single tooth that me 4 lads have lost :)

  x

• 

  cpalisa on March 07 at 9:14 p.m.

  The tooth fairy is very generous here, my daughter gets $5 plus a little change for each tooth. She lost 3 over Christmas break so that was a little windfall for her!

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