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It’s difficult to think about my mother this Mother’s Day. Mom passed away three years ago, on 
May 11, the day before what would have been my Dad’s birthday. So every Mother’s Day, I am reminded of her. It’s not that I enjoy my memories – it’s more like I am torn between the good things and the bad things. Are all mother-daughter relationships so complex? I wonder. My mother could be doting one minute and condescending the next, degenerating on down to being spiteful and hateful. While I can write reams of funny and loving anecdotes about my Dad – Mom is just the opposite. Why is that? I want to know. My heart weeps for what has gone by, for what has been lost, for what was never mended/JeanieS, Nuts & Nonsense. More here.
Question: Why are mother-daughter relationships so complicated?
D.F. Oliveria is a columnist and blogger for The Spokesman-Review. Huckleberries Online was judged the best 2008 Idaho newspaper blog by the Idaho Press Club. And the best 2007 news blog in the Pacific Northwest by the Society for Professional Journalist. Print Huckleberries is a past winner of the Herb Caen Memorial Column contest by the National Association of Newspaper Columnists. The Readership Institute of Northwestern University cited this blog as a good example of online community journalism.
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shellzbellz on May 08 at 4:53 p.m.
I just lost my mother in Ocotber, this Mother’s Day will be the hardest. But luckily I had a great relationship with my Mother and had just moved back to Idaho to be able to spend more time with her. She was very proud of me for all my acomplishments, I wished I would of told her how proud I was of her
Escapee on May 08 at 8:10 p.m.
That’s ironic…Jeannie describes her relationship with her Mom in virtually the same way I would describe my relationship with my Dad. I daresay there’s a parallel between mother/daughter and father/son relationships.
hhuseland on May 09 at 7:20 p.m.
Likewise, Escapee, my relationship with my father was at best, mutual tolerance. My older brother, who is and was a very successful journalist/public relations guy, was, in my dad’s eyes, the perfect son. My Father was a quiet opinionated guy. My older brother, in his early years, was quiet, studious and a model of behavior.
Thence cometh Herb. Raucous, loud, opinionated and adventuresome. To my Dad, I was from another planet. Given that his Dad died when he was seven, right in the middle of the great depression, or actually before it was labeled as such, in 1909. Given his background, he simply didn’t have a role model to follow. I forgave him many years ago, but the emotional conditioning still affects my thinking.