Huckleberries Online

Going Apocalyptical

Posted by Cindy

May 26, 2009 9:06 a.m. • 11 comments

I was going to post this tomorrow, but it’s too good to wait. At Notes on a Napkin, Katrina shares tips on how to survive the coming Apocalypse. Read the full post here:

http://notesonanapkin.wordpress.com/2009/05/22/how-to-survive-the-apocalypse/

1. Arm yourself. Apocalypses come in all varieties–nuclear, pandemic, mechanized, and, of course, zombie**–so the type of weapons you’ll need may vary according to the threat.

2. Dress for success. Almost anything can be incorporated into post-apocalyptic couture: chest armor made out of hubcaps, discarded aviator goggles, fraying sweaters patched together with wire torn from now useless computer consoles.

3. Acquire transportation. Think “all-terrain”.

4. Get some skills. You definitely can’t survive the apocalypse without useful skills. Unfortunately, there’s no way of knowing ahead of time which skills will be useful in your individual circumstances.

5. Group up. Look for other survivors. But be cautious. Before throwing in with the first fellow refugees you see, observe them carefully to make sure they are not a) insane, b) violent criminals, or c) insufferably annoying.

6. Start accumulating SPAM. As my brother-in-law pointed out to me, SPAM is truly the lynchpin of post-apocalyptic survival.

Can you think of any other Doomsday Survival Tips? I think I’d add: Get Buff. Look at Linda Hamilton’s arms. The end of the world is all about survival of the fittest right?

11 comments on this post so far. Add yours!

BayviewBob on May 25 at 4:56 p.m.
SPAM is not only the lynch pin of post-apocalyptic survival, it’s darn good eaten!

Nothing better than a fried spam sandwich.

I heart Spam.
Stickman on May 25 at 5:30 p.m.
Looks like an M-16 in the right hands, you got to love those weapons. At least I did.
spokelooneh on May 25 at 6:12 p.m.
BayviewBob, you extoll the superiority of the eggs from your cage free hens, AND Spam?

The mind boggles.

BTW, you don’t survive Doomsday. Or better put, you don’t want to survive Doomsday.
Bent on May 25 at 9:35 p.m.
(Cindy, you just like spelling those big words when DFO is gone, don’t you ;-)
Arch_Druid on May 26 at 8:00 a.m.
I thought the blog in question was kinda cute. It brings to mind Mad Max beyond the Thunderdome. Myself, I don’t quite figure on what post apocalyptic skills I would need but gardening and preserving would be a good idea.
BayviewBob on May 26 at 8:00 a.m.
Dang missed it this year, Maybe next year!

7th Annual Waikiki Spam Jam (Waikiki Block Party)

It is that time again to join 24,000 other Spam friends for the largest Spam festival in the world. Kalakaua Avenue closes for the entire evening and 2 huge entertainment stages are set up, 13 restaurants serving a variety of Spam dishes, Spam merchandise booths and a craft vendor mall. The entire event is a benefit for the Hawaii Foodbank. Admission is free.

THE SPAMTASTIC FOOD
Check out this restaurant line-up. PF Chang’s, Jimmy Buffett’s, Dukes Canoe Club, Hula Grill, Doraku Sushi, Murphy’s Bar & Grill, Cheeseburger Beachwalk, Gordon Biersch, The Shack Waikiki, Chibo Okonomiyaki, Coconut Willy’s and a new Waikiki restaurant called Aloha Table. If you love Spam, you are going to have to come here and try a variety of items including Spam Burger Babies, Spam Okonomiyaki, Shichimi Spiced Spam Wrap, Spam Nachos, Spam Gau Gee, Spam Loco Moco, Spam Chili, Spam Katsu, Corned Beef Hash with Spam and a Spam Lettuce Wrap. Each restaurant will also have non-Spam dishes too. Hormel will be also launching a new Spam product that evening – the Spam Hot Dog!

THE FREE MUSIC CONCERT
Entertainers include Kaukahi, John Cruz, Pilioha, Beach 5, Kapena, Herb Ohta Jr, Ilona and Typical Youth. There will also be hula performances and Spam contests throughout the evening.

THE SPAM CHARACTER DOLL & OTHER SPAM LOGO GOODS
Two merchandise tents will be selling SPAM-themed items including t-shirts, shorts, sport balls, beanie characters, pens and slippers. A variety of Hawaiian craft booths also will be set up on the street.

BRING A CAN OF SPAM TO DONATE AND WIN GREAT PRIZES
Booths will be set up by volunteers to help collect donations of Spam for the Hawaii Foodbank. This year, there are special prizes available for those that donate Spam at the event. Drawings for a year supply of Spam, neighbor island trips and restaurant certificates will given out to those that donate during the event.

LOTS OF GREAT PARKING OPTIONS
Stay for 4 hours or less and pay just $3.00 at Waikiki Beach Walk, King Kalakaua Plaza or any Outrigger or Ohana Hotel parking garage. Mention ‘Spam Jam’ to the valet or garage attendant.

Find parking at either Waikiki Trade Center or Waikiki Galleria Tower for a $6 flat rate for the entire evening from 4:00pm until 10:00pm.

Park at Royal Hawaiian Center for free with a 4 hour restaurant validation.

Look for more information, including Entertainment stage line-ups, Restaurant Spam dishes and more at www.spamjamhawaii.com.
JBelle on May 26 at 8:54 a.m.
oh my goodness, Bob; this just sounds all so routine for Hawaii. Tell me, have you ever been to the Spam Museum? Now that’s being an afficiando!
toadman on May 26 at 9:01 a.m.
During the apocalypse, I think I’ll just take David Byrne’s advice:

“Heard of a van that is loaded with weapons
packed up and ready to go”

and…

“I got some groceries, some peanut butter
to last a couple of days”

But, alas, the apocalypse will suck, because…

“… I ain’t got no speakers
ain’t got no headphones
ain’t got no records to play”

See?

Still, I have a friend who makes/sells silencers. I suggested two tag-lines/slogans for his business:

“Silencing the Revolution.”
and
“Making the Apocalypse Quieter.”

…enjoy the peanut butter.

;-)
BayviewBob on May 26 at 9:45 a.m.
lol Toadman.

“This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco
this ain’t no fooling around
This ain’t no mudd club, or C. B. G. B.
I ain’t got time for that now”

Talking heads were one of my favorite bands.
Truly on May 26 at 5:23 p.m.
For God’s sake just put your head between your knees and get ready to kiss it.!
Arch_Druid on May 27 at 11:19 a.m.
Hope Toadman’s van is hydrocell ready. As he won’t have gas to fuel it, LOL! And after his weapons run out of bullets, hope he understands how to make bows and arrows. High tech after an Armageddon? Too funny by half.

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D.F. Oliveria is a columnist and blogger for The Spokesman-Review. Huckleberries Online was judged the best 2008 Idaho newspaper blog by the Idaho Press Club. And the best 2007 news blog in the Pacific Northwest by the Society for Professional Journalist. Print Huckleberries is a past winner of the Herb Caen Memorial Column contest by the National Association of Newspaper Columnists. The Readership Institute of Northwestern University cited this blog as a good example of online community journalism.