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CindyH:
So. I got the dreaded “note from teacher.” Or in this case e-mail. It seems my 10-year-old was sent to the principal’s office for “blurting out,” and “talking out of turn several times despite repeated warnings.” He’s been sentenced to morning and lunch recess detention. (Keeping an active kid inside seems rather counterproductive, imo) My question is for parents: When/if your kids get in trouble at school, do you follow up with consequences at home? What kind? Right now, he’s confined to quarters while I go to the gym and mull this over during my workout. More below.
Question: Some Berry Pickers have already made suggestions on the “Wild Card” thread re: how Cindy should handle this situation. Do you have 2 cents to throw in, too?
CindyH added this later:
Thanks for the great response folks— especially Arpie.
This isn’t a new problem. All 4 of my boys are talkers. They take after their father. Seriously!
I followed up with his teacher and she said she believes it’s not a respect issue. She’s loves my boy and gets him. She’s just sick of shushing him a million times a day.
So.
No TV tonight. No video games this weekend. And we’ll work on being a better citizen. He needs to know we take it seriously when he gets in trouble at school.
He’s a good kid. He just has A LOT to say
D.F. Oliveria is a columnist and blogger for The Spokesman-Review. Huckleberries Online was judged the best 2008 Idaho newspaper blog by the Idaho Press Club. And the best 2007 news blog in the Pacific Northwest by the Society for Professional Journalist. Print Huckleberries is a past winner of the Herb Caen Memorial Column contest by the National Association of Newspaper Columnists. The Readership Institute of Northwestern University cited this blog as a good example of online community journalism.
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Cindy H on November 19 at 5:40 p.m.
Geez DFO. You forgot my addendum. Sigh.
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sue on November 19 at 5:52 p.m.
I remember when my otherwise very bright son got an F in home ec. I forget the reason why he took that class, I know it was optional, but he flunked brownies. I'd like a rewind on how I handled that one for sure. I tried to understand, but this was my baby, who hadn't given me an ounce of trouble to this point. I think I tried to be supportive of the teacher, but didn't feel she was communicating her reasons very well. And it affected his gpa. Anyway, that teacher has become a shirt-tail relative, and I still think I should apologize sometime. She was definitely right. He's very messy. I'm sure you'll handle it better than I did, Cindy.
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Cindy H on November 19 at 5:59 p.m.
Uh. Actually that wasn't the addendum I was referring to. But thanks :-)
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Stickman on November 19 at 6:17 p.m.
Cindy. Your children will be just that, Kids. In my younger years, i was sent home numerous times, with a note that had to be signed by my Mother. I always came back pristine and smiling, and of course, the document was signed by the one known as my Mother. Although she never knew anything about any of this when she died, many years ago, I brought that subject up just before she died, and we had a very good laugh about what she did and didn't know and didn't really care. Life is short, enjoy the simple times we have with family and friends. I did know how to sign her name, I must have been lucky.
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Herb Huseland on November 19 at 6:58 p.m.
I claim the 5th amendment. One of her teachers is my son.
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Herb Huseland on November 19 at 6:59 p.m.
Excuse me. Him/his.
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CDA_Mom on November 19 at 10:39 p.m.
I have two older children (21 and 24) and a 5 year old. I have not had to deal with discipline issues in school with my 5 year old, but with the older ones — yep.
When I would get notes from teachers, I would make them work at home until they could come up with a different action they would take at school that would correct their bad behavior. I would come up with some real unpleasant work/chores they had to do.
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marmitetoasty on November 20 at 1:17 a.m.
Yep, I would whip them soundly and send them to bed with no dinner…..
x
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TLPoelstra on November 20 at 6:10 a.m.
My philosophy with my two teen boppers girls if “you do the crime, you do the time.' In our home volunteering is timed served but Mommy or Daddy get to pick the volunteering gig. We pull this out when the girls get too snarky and too full of teenage angst. The surprising thing is that forced volunteering has not stopped them from volunteering on their own.
By the way, I have received “the note” once for each child. One child for strongly stating her opinion without the mature grace and she was given a little quality time after school with her affronted teacher. The other child stood up to a bully and dealt with him by publicly embarrassing him. (She hid his glasses in the girls bathroom). She spent a lunch or two cleaning the cafeteria for invading the boy's bubble to remove the glasses….
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Soaf on November 20 at 6:46 a.m.
We were very fortunate to have not gotten the dreaded letter. Both my son & daughter were far from perfect but both learned early on that it just wasn't worth the trouble and the he!! that would have been paid (With Mom, not Me) at home if one of them created a scene at school.
And spanking was an option although rarely used. The standard was very high for us to use that and if it was used, we made sure the recipient knew exactly why it happened.
And like Phaedrus said on another thread, I've had both my kids mutter that they would have rather had the Whoopin as opposed to the “Talk” as it would have been over with quicker.
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ejs on November 20 at 10:43 a.m.
One of the worst things my kids could do is talk back to their Mother, be it a smart remark or reaised voice response or anything tainted with disrespect. Even if she was wrong they couldn't violate that rule. She carried them, pushed them out, fed them from her own body and as far as I am concerned that requires complete compliance to her, right or wrong. That's not to say theu can't talk about anything or explain to her their take on something, or a situation because that would be wrong but, never yell at her.
We never had to spank them but that was always an option on the table, needless to say, now that they are a bit older they certainly are careful and respectful. That being said I might be inclined to shirt colar them or bum rush them out the door should they forget who they are talking to or let their emotions get the best of them when talking to her. Well at least the boys.
In the end I think it helped them stay out of trouble to some degree as a result in the outside world.
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