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Mr_Bloggy Has Seen The Wind

Mr_Bloggy (re: Dustin: Me hates wind gusts): Mr_Bloggy is a student of the Linguistic Relativity or Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis in which our language, semiotics, encoding, affect how we thing. So, in other words, wind isn't wind isn't wind. There are many types and words for wind. Mr_B will spare the careful and diligent reader his (Mr_B's) encyclopedic vocabulary and instead focus on Mr_B's most notable winds vis a vis an analysis of contextual mobarity.

  • 1 The Cold Winds of Retribution: (see: Karma and ancient Mongolian tribal jurisprudence) Mr_B grows positively dewy eyed and may instantly lapse into an alpha brain wave state of drooling and spit bubbling bliss imagining what awaits Dick Cheney one day for his sheer, violent evil. Rest of comment below.

2) The Chemical Winds of Neptune: When Mr_B was embargoed on Neptune in the Third Enchantment Valley following an unfortunate intergalactic incident involving two Mandalusian prostitutes and a hot wired Zorakian Talon-IV planet buster-class warship, he grew quite unfond of the constant chemical winds howling across the gas giant's surface and with a bio-suit of a somewhat questionable sustainability he grew a bit nervous of an imminent demise until the Hate Trolls of Jupiter rescued him with their fusion powered rocket zeppelin. My God what great damn days those were!

3) The Warm Tropical Winds of the South Pacific: When cleaning up islands during World War II in the Pacific Theater as a young Marine, Mr_B grew quite fond of these tropical winds and learned to surf and make coconut beer and hunt monkeys with slings and rocks. It was idyllic.

4) The High Pressure Stationary System Bloviational-Force Winds of Washington DC: almost constant and only easing when Congress is out of session, these hurricane blasts of hot air sweep the land of reason, rational thought, careful deliberation, collective best interest, sound economic policy, effective balancing of the role of the govt in protecting and enhancing the lives of its citizens, and comprehensive future planning.

5) The Post-Romantic Relational Winds of Door Slammage: Sigh. Mr_B's ears ring w memories (some rather recently) of the concussive blasts of disappointment, rejection, crazy bitchedness, poor communicationing, and all the other various and sundry irrational reasons a hot chick would ditch a stud monkey like yours truly. Truly the most confusing and origin-opaque of the many winds Mr_B has grown to ummm well not love … let's say become accustomed to.

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D.F. Oliveria
D.F. (Dave) Oliveria joined The Spokesman-Review in 1984. He currently is a columnist and compiles the Huckleberries Online blog and writes about North Idaho in his Huckleberries column.

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