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Huckleberries Online

Bloggy: It’s Snow … OK, People?

Mr_Bloggy: Snowing in Spokane? Mr_Bloggy is endlessly amused by the child-like wonderness, the Groundhog Dayishness, the eternal snowshine of the spotless mindlessness, the butterfly newly emerged from its cocoonishness, the gazing upon the perfect meadow and waterfall for the final time by the last unicornessness of Spokane drivers as they venture upon snowy roads and byways for the first time of the winter and, in a miraculous sort of cognitive event, for the first time of their lives again! It is a mass reincarnation! A resurrection of the ones who slide for our sins. “It is so pretty, I've never seen this before in all of my 30 years driving in Spokane! We shall call this “sparkly angel frost cold nose tickle candy and we shall frolic in its wonder!”

Question: What was your reaction when you saw snow on the ground when you woke up today?

“This is so weird this snow stuff! I am sliding all over the road and smacking mailboxes because I am dropping from 4th to 2nd and punching it on this reverse grade sharp curve and I'm going off the road! Did this happen last year too? Wow, this stuff is weird!”

“Uh oh! My braking distance is severely extended and my defensive driving skills and target awareness perception needs to be fully deployed and why didn't someone say texting my girlfriend while mixing up this starbucks oatmeal as I gun it down Freya isn't going to work! You'd think after 12 years driving in Spokane someone woulda told me that”

“Screw that jerk, I've got a Dodge Rambottom 5000 Turbodiesel 4X4 (Polar Bear Extinction Edition IV) with the upgrade to the Open Pit Mine Truck Tires and my rig can't freaking slide at 70 mph on a glazed ice roadbed with sleet and rain falling, so I'm passing on this downhill grade!”

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D.F. Oliveria
D.F. (Dave) Oliveria joined The Spokesman-Review in 1984. He currently is a columnist and compiles the Huckleberries Online blog and writes about North Idaho in his Huckleberries column.

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