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Bloggy: ‘Resenting Costcoland

Mr. Bloggy: We know that Walmart is the Carnival of Horror of badly shaped and garbed people-things. Costco, on the other hand, serves a much higher grade of folks, but I am beginning to experience just the littlest little bit of resentment towards the Corporate Warlords of Costcoland and their fussy refusal to stock and sell sleeveless tees, or in the Vernacular of Most of America(tm) “wifebeaters.” The beater of spouses style of undergarment has been my favorite for my entire adult life and since I am always leaving them in the apartments and homes of my multiple conquests I must quite too often replenish my supply. And where else to buy a 22 pack of white sleeveless tees than at Costco. But, erm, guess what, homes? They don’t carry them! (Full post below)

Question: What do you buy in bulk at Costco?


Speaking of all that hideous eye torture, all of which, and even more loathsome and nausea roto-rooting per the body meet bad ideaware context, can be seen in all its repellent torment at your local Walmart.

We know that Walmart is the Carnival of Horror of badly shaped and garbed people-things. Costco, on the other hand, serves a much higher grade of folks, but I am beginning to experience just the littlest little bit of resentment towards the Corporate Warlords of Costcoland and their fussy refusal to stock and sell sleeveless tees, or in the Vernacular of Most of America(tm) “wifebeaters.” The beater of spouses style of undergarment has been my favorite for my entire adult life and since I am always leaving them in the apartments and homes of my multiple conquests I must quite too often replenish my supply. And where else to buy a 22 pack of white sleeveless tees than at Costco. But, erm, guess what, homes? They don’t carry them! Too walmarttish I reckon. But it’s a serious lapse in strategic marketing and product placement and reflects poorly on the somewhat more lofty perch the Corporate Warlords try to set themselves and their store (and truly, when your main comp is Walmart, you’re like the sewage treatment plant technician who after doing something disgusting I don’t know what whatever would cause one to step both hip boots into a big like pool of sewage and sludge and maybe it’s only to provide me a metaphorical slam on Walmart or maybe it’s to unstick an inflow pipe or whatever, and so this dude steps his boot up onto the ladder to gain egress out of crapworld, that first step out of the steaming muck, that’s exactly all the Costco dudes gotta step to be better than Walmart). But it seems they don’t get that and prefer to stereotype folks who wear whoreslappers(c).

One of these days, corporate America is gonna step up and embrace the damn real world. Prole up, baby, prole up.


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About this blog

D.F. Oliveria is a columnist and blogger for The Spokesman-Review. Print Huckleberries is a past winner of the Herb Caen Memorial Column contest by the National Association of Newspaper Columnists. The Readership Institute of Northwestern University cited this blog as a good example of online community journalism.

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