Not that I’d ever want to push the public into a paranoid, mouth-foaming frenzy, but I’m warning all of you in the Spokane area to stay away from lakes, rivers and public pools for the next few days. Oh, and whatever else you do … DON’T SIT ON YOUR TOILETS!! Until we get this missing human-eating fish situation sorted out, everybody – and I mean, everybody – should do his or her business standing up. I don’t know why I always have to zero in on the crucial elements of the news, but I was aghast at what I found (or didn’t find) in our Wednesday front-page story, headlined: “Seizure nets pot, alligator, piranhas.” The article told of a recent bust on a lower South Hill apartment by state fish and game agents. (Do critter cops wear hunter-orange vests and Elmer Fudd hats?)/Doug Clark, SR. More here. (Courtesy photo: Washington Department of Fish & Wildlife)

Question: Would you want to live in a place where aligators and piranha roamed wild?