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Huckleberries Online

Tue., Nov. 6, 2012, 2:20 p.m.

Marmie Revokes USA Independence

You newcomers may not be acquainted with Marmitetoasty, a delightful Brit who found this blog years ago, from her corner of England, on the English Channel side. Today, on our Election Day, she has issued a manifesto for us Yanks purportedly from the queen herself. In the manifesto, the queen revokes our independence and puts down a list of conditions, including:

  • Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.
  •  You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
  • More here

Question: Frankly, I wouldn't mind the Brits taking over again. I love their accents. And Downton Abbey. How about you?

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D.F. Oliveria
D.F. (Dave) Oliveria joined The Spokesman-Review in 1984. He currently is a columnist and compiles the Huckleberries Online blog and writes about North Idaho in his Huckleberries column.

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