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Posts tagged: Apocalypse

Clark: Mayans May Have Been Right

Today we’ll examine the importance of the “bug-out bag” and how much Spam you’ll need to cram into it in order to survive the coming collapse of civilization as we know it. Before getting to that, however, I feel I owe an apology to any dead Mayans who may have been offended when I scoffed at their predictions that the world will end shortly before Christmas to avoid the rush. All that 2012 doomsday hocus-pocus seemed silly when I wrote about it last spring. Enough troubling events have happened since then to make me think that those long-gone Mayans maybe knew something. It’s been one sign of the apocalypse after another this summer/Doug Clark, SR. More here.

Question: Do you see signs that the apocalypse is almost upon us?

TGIF? End Of World Arrives Friday

The end is near, again, probably. So get ready, maybe. Harold Camping, the 90-year-old radio host who famously predicted the world would end last May on the 21st, has confirmed that he believes the world will now end Friday, “probably.” After God failed to deliver on the appointed date last spring, Camping, facing mockery from the press and crushing disappointment and anger from his followers, quickly produced a revision to his predication, setting the new, for-real-this-time, date of Oct. 21. According to his revised explanation, the “spiritual rapture” did indeed occur on May 21, but the actual end-of-the-world rapture will occur Friday. Conveniently, the spiritual rapture passed virtually undetected to all but Camping/Abby Ohlheiser, Slatest. More here. (AP file photo)

Question: Are you ready for the big day tomorrow?

Going Apocalyptical

I was going to post this tomorrow, but it’s too good to wait. At Notes on a Napkin, Katrina shares tips on how to survive the coming Apocalypse. Read the full post here:

1.  Arm yourself. Apocalypses come in all varieties–nuclear, pandemic, mechanized, and, of course, zombie**–so the type of weapons you’ll need may vary according to the threat. 

2.  Dress for success. Almost anything can be incorporated into post-apocalyptic couture: chest armor made out of hubcaps, discarded aviator goggles, fraying sweaters patched together with wire torn from now useless computer consoles. 

3.  Acquire transportation. Think “all-terrain”. 

4.  Get some skills. You definitely can’t survive the apocalypse without useful skills.  Unfortunately, there’s no way of knowing ahead of time which skills will be useful in your individual circumstances. 

5.  Group up. Look for other survivors.  But be cautious.  Before throwing in with the first fellow refugees you see, observe them carefully to make sure they are not a) insane, b) violent criminals, or c) insufferably annoying. 

6.  Start accumulating SPAM. As my brother-in-law pointed out to me, SPAM is truly the lynchpin of post-apocalyptic survival. 

Can you think of any other Doomsday Survival Tips? I think I’d add: Get Buff. Look at Linda Hamilton’s arms. The end of the world is all about survival of the fittest right?


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About this blog

D.F. Oliveria is a columnist and blogger for The Spokesman-Review. Print Huckleberries is a past winner of the Herb Caen Memorial Column contest by the National Association of Newspaper Columnists. The Readership Institute of Northwestern University cited this blog as a good example of online community journalism.

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