My newborn son Resor is only 12 days old and he is a genius. I’m talking levels only Einstein achieved. Now I know most new mothers like to brag that their babies are the cutest ever and are way ahead of the learning curve but that’s not what this is. I’m not bragging. It is 100 percent fact. While most newborns are spending their first days of life either sleeping, eating or pooping mine is  actually forming sentences. Not only that but he can also use the telephone. At least that’s what his grandma and grandpa Kraack are telling me. Since his arrival 12 days ago my mother has served as interpreter between my son and me. She was quick to relay within minutes of his birth how he said he was embarrassed by his cone shaped head and didn’t want any other babies making fun of him. So I had to be sure to keep a hat on him at all times. I was amazed/Shenelle Kraack, St. Maries Gazette-Record. More here.

DFO: Put your hands together for gazettegal and her new baby.

Question: Were your babies as brilliant and beautiful as Shenelle’s?

Simply amazing so many of us survived with rough wooden cribs, laundry baskets as bassinets and wash cloths dipped in honey as teething rings. I don’t know how I have all my appendages considering the playground equipment I used as a child had metal links, (gasp), and nothing but dirt to cushion my fall. I’m pretty sure that about a month after I have my son his car seat will be recalled, the mattress pad in his crib will be found to have a sort of foam in it that when mixed with certain paints becomes toxic and breast milk will be considered unsanitary. But I’m pretty sure he’ll survive … as long as we have our trusty wipe warmer. Because no son of mine is going to have a cold bottom. Damn the cost or consequences!/Shenelle Kraack, St. Maries Gazette Record. Full column below.

Question: Are you surprised that you survived childhood?