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Posts tagged: Steve Crump

Another Neck Tie For Father’s Day

It’s Father’s Day. I’m gonna get a necktie. I have for every Father’s Day since I became one, and so have you — even if the only place you have to wear a tie is on the tractor. Don’t blame your unimaginative loved ones. A necktie is a gift for a guy who has everything, and that pretty much describes you and me, fella. Look around: Your life is choked with stuff. Your garage is always full, your truck is always full, your tool box is always full, your tackle box is always full, your closet is always full, your gun cabinet is always full, and by the look of your belly hanging over your belt, you’re always full. Say it with me one time: You don’t need anything/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times News. More here.

Question: What did you get for Father's Day?

SC: Beware Of Senior On Aisle 9

When I was a kid, my mother taught me to be unfailingly polite and deferential to senior citizens. But now that I am a senior citizen, do I still have to? The question arises because I recently moved into a neighborhood in Sacramento, Calif., largely populatedby folks who retired sometime during the Reagan administration. College Greens, located adjacent to the campus of Sacramento State University, was built in the late 1950s and the early ’60s and many of its original residents haven’t left. And they all shop at Raley’s, a Sacramento-based supermarket chain with a large store nearby. So to linger at this particular Raley’s is to risk life and limb from kamikaze electric shopping carts piloted by older folks who left their bifocals at home/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Do you have to be respectful and differential to Seasoned Citizens if you already are one?

Crump: Becoming A Californian

Did something this month I never dreamed I’d do: I became a Californian. After I retired in August, my wife landed a job in Sacramento. We sold our house in Idaho, bought another in California and I arrived last week — like the Beverly Hillbillies — on an old truck with three dogs, three cats and our furniture. There’s some history here: I’m an Idaho native — lived in the state of 53 of my 60 years — and in print I’ve had a glorious good time for decades making fun of Californians. Especially California expatriates to Idaho. They tried a little too hard to impose their big-city ways on the Gem State, I reckoned. And they boasted much too often about selling their houses in Orange County for 10 times as much as they paid for their new homes in Idaho/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Have you ever thought of moving to California?

Crump: Work Is For Those With Jobs

Some years back, I was talking to my retired college professor father-in-law about a book he was writing. A historian, Ken described its prospective contents in great deal. “Sounds like a lot of work,” I said. “Do you have a deadline?”  “Hell, no,” he replied. “I’m retired. Same here. After 36 years in the workplace, I’m now retired — and contemplating all the excellent reasons for doing nothing. Not that there’s nothing to do: My wife has a 5-gallon job-jar that formerly held pickles from Costco. It’s nearly full — and getting fuller. Victoria is still working for a living, so when she comes home each night she asks if I’ve accomplished anything that day. “Accomplished anything?” I say. “Hell no. I’m retired”/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times News. More here.

Question: Some retirees tell me that they're busier than ever, since they stopped punching the clock. I don't think that's the norm. Do you plan to remain busy when you retired? Or kick back?

Crump Retiring From Twin Falls Paper

A writer who chronicled the Magic Valley’s triumphs, foibles and transformations for almost three decades will retire Aug. 31. Times-News Opinion Editor Steve Crump, 59, started at the newspaper as sports editor in 1983, later serving as city editor, features editor and features writer. He has penned most of the newspaper’s editorials and edited its Opinion pages since 2007. His “Don’t Ask Me” column has appeared in the Times-News since 1990, and its “You Don’t Say” counterpart since 2008. Why call it quits now? Crump was married six years ago to a woman whose joint-custody arrangement ties her to Boise, and the couple has commuted between Twin Falls and Boise since then. “We decided the time is right to actually move in together,” Crump said/Virginia Hutchins, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

  • DFO: I'm a huge fan of Steve Crump's columns. He is a fountain of info re: the history and historical people of the Magic Valley and Idaho. His retirement creates a huge hole in the institutional knowledge of Idaho newspapers.

Question: How many newspaper columnists have you followed for decades, if any?

High Noon: Don’t Pinch Pennies

On a rock outcrop at Shoshone Falls, there’s a ledge covered with pennies. The copper has long since corroded into a rainbow of green hues, and they’ll be there forever because nobody is going to risk life and limb to salvage $1.14 that you can’t spend in the pop machine. I don’t think God is OK with that. I suspect that everyone who vacuums up a penny, or pitches it into a trash can, or walks over it without troubling to bend over is guilty of arrogance that may come home to roost. That’s because the penny is the currency of small mercies, the coin of petty indulgences from Providence. Think of it as the fiduciary equivalent of a sunbeam breaking through the clouds, a smile from a stranger, or your brother-in-law returning your cordless electric drill after 14 years/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here. (2009 AP file photo, of new penny)

Question: What do you do with your loose pennies?

Crump: Aggravating People For Living

As one who aggravates people for a living, I'd like to say a few words in praise of annoyance. What a bleak, monochrome world this would be if you got through your day without your blood pressure playing chicken with your coronary arteries. What's the point of living if you can't overreact every time your grandson asks, “Why can't I?'” We Idahoans, I believe, have a special flair for getting under your skin - an artful combination of disingenuousness and cussedness, I suspect. The trick, of course, is sincerity: He annoys best who irritates best without guile. (“Hell, yes, I'd be glad to give you a lift to the gas station. Jus' climb in back there with the manure”)/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Have often do you overreact?

Crump: And Harmon Went Deep …

My mom and my Aunt Bernice were modest Idaho gals, which in 1961 meant wearing skirts to baseball games. That July 11 was the last time they did that. Fifty years ago Monday, I watched my first big league baseball game — the All-Star Game at Candlestick Park in San Francisco. I’ve never seen its like since. Candlestick Park was the stadium of the San Francisco Giants, who had moved west from New York three years earlier. The ballpark was built on a spit of land that spilled into San Francisco Bay, and there every gust of wind west of China converged. As we walked up the concourse that day, one such gale arrived and blew my aunt’s and my mother’s skirts up over their heads. Mortified, they almost walked back to Idaho/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Do you remember the first Major League Baseball game that you saw? Tell us about it.

Steve: Long Odyssey To Death Row

There are 3,260 inmates awaiting execution in the United States, and one of them is from the Magic Valley. He's Robert Allen Poyson, 34, sentenced to death in Arizona in 1998 after being convicted of murdering three people in August 1996. He was born in Twin Falls and grew up in Jackpot. According to court records, Poyson was a 19-year-old drifter who befriended a 15-year-old boy in Kingman, Ariz. The boy's mother, Leta Kagen, invited Poyson to stay in their trailer home, along with two hitchhikers: 48-year-old Frank Anderson and his 14-year-old girlfriend, Kimberly Lane. Anderson wanted to go to Chicago, so he, Poyson and Lane hatched a plan to kill Kagen, her son Robert Delahunt, and another man living in the trailer, Roland Wear, and steal Wear's truck/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Do you know someone who is currently serving time in jail or prison?

Crump: No One Works This Week

I tried to call you at work last Friday afternoon, the day beforethe long weekend. You weren’t there. Same deal Tuesday afternoon — yesterday — the day after a long weekend. Ditto last Wednesday morning — a little before noon — a moment in time when, in theory, everybody in America with a job should be on the job. All three times, your voice mail proclaimed that my message was important to you and you’d get back as soon as possible. I won’t wait up. The week before the Fourth of July and the week thereafter are two of several during the year — the week before Christmas, the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day, the week that deer season opens, for example — when nobody actually shows up at the office/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: How much time off have you had last week and this?

Crump: Don’t Expect Hug From Me

I’m of Swedish extraction, and like all Scandinavians we have a hard time embracing humanity. It’s not that we’re aloof, exactly; just fumbling. A Swede has all the natural physical grace of a roller-skating buffalo. Other folks are much more at ease with a hug — the Spanish and the Italians, for example. They even have words for a hug — abrazo in Spanish, abbraccio in Italian— that don’t have exact equivalents in English. The Italian word abbraccione, which translates as “big hug,” describes an experience closer to being adopted than being embraced/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Are you a hugger?

Crump: Another Palin Insider Critic

It’s been a tough month for Sarah Palin. Two tell-all books have been published in May about the shortcomings of her 31-month tenure as governor of Alaska, including Blind Allegiance by ex-Palin aide Frank Bailey. The second, The Lies of Sarah Palin by Geoffrey Dunn, includes some pointed comments about Palin from former Twin Falls newscaster Rhonda McBride. McBride, who worked as a reporter at KMVT-TV during the mid-1980s, was appointed Palin’s rural adviser in 2007, dealing with Alaska Native affairs. She got the job in part because of her reporting on rural issues for Anchorage television station KTUU and before that for KYUK, a public radio and television station in Bethel, Alaska. But after she was hired, Palin and senior members of her staff rebuffed McBride’s efforts to meet with her and with Native leaders/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here. (AP file photo of book cover of Frank Bailey's tell-all, “Blind Allegiance to Sarah Palin”)

Question: Do you appreciate inside information from individuals who worked for controversial politicians and other personalities? Or do you feel that they've betrayed confidences?

Crump: Lacking Her Idaho Pedigree

My wife Victoria is coming up on her 25th anniversary of living in this green and pleasant land, so she asked me the other day when she might be considered an Idahoan. I didn’t have the heart to tell her. Would you? Especially since she’s spent all that time in Boise. Had she dwelt instead in, say, Mud Lake, Malad or Mullan, we could maybe let it slide. But I’m thinking that two score years and change in the shadow of the Boise Town Square Mall aren’t that challenging. Granted, she used to live in California, so the requirements for Idaism are sterner/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Could you prove in court that you're a bonafide Idahoan?

Crump: Red Scarf Matches Your Eyes

I read in The Wall Street Journal the other day that the fashion experts now say it’s OK for guys to mix patterned dress shirts — stripes, prints and plaids — with striped, polka-dot and paisley neckties. This is not a good thing. I grew up around Pocatello, where fashion sense ranks somewhere below cotillion etiquette in local priorities. Especially for men, whose fashion icon is Sam Drucker from Green Acres. Plus, this is Idaho, for gosh sakes. We’d wear feed sacks, if there were two holes cut in the bottom/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Which television character best exemplifies your fashion sense?

Crump: Would She Like Motor Oil?

My wife just earned her certified public accountant’s accreditation, plus it’s her birthday next week. So I’m on the hook for presents big-time. Trouble is, I’m out of ideas. Not just short of gifting notions, mind you, but bereft. Back when we were courting my go-to plan was always a book of poetry. But we’ve run through Byron, Shelley, Keats, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Emily Dickinson, Yeats and a whole lot of Shakespeare. Matter of fact, I think we’re down to Rudyard Kipling; shoot, I almost gave Victoria a copy of Charge of the Light Brigade on our anniversary last year. … So the sad, sad truth, the dirty lowdown, is that I’m gonna have to resort to gift cards/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question (for men): Do special days in which your wife is expecting a gift cause you to panic?

Crump: Truth About Checkout Lines

I conducted a highly scientific experiment last week, visiting three large Twin Falls supermarkets. There I tested the theory that the checkout counter line in which you are standing is always the slowest. Everybody thinks so, but everybody is wrong. Turns out it was only the slowest nine out of 10 times. In the other case, some woman pushing a grocery cart laden with 10 gallons of raspberry sorbet got into the queue at another checkstand behind a guy who chose to balance his checkbook right there and then. I paid for my purchases and stood there and watched as all that sherbet melted in little puddles around the lady’s new Nikes/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: How do you pick a checkout line at a grocery store?

Crump: Playing Chicken In Hailey

It’s official: Hens are now citizens of Hailey. But not roosters. Smart move on the city’s part. For roosters are trouble, and as an old farm boy I can tell you they don’t just crow at 5 a.m. After a year-long test of an ordinance allowing hens — but not their male counterparts — to be raised within the town’s limits, the Hailey City Council granted the birds permanent residency last week. The rules governing chickens were set to expire June 9 under a sunset clause that allowed the city to repeal the ordinance after a year of monitoring, but only two complaints were received, according to the Idaho Mountain Express/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Have you ever raised chickens? Would you do it again?

Crump: When Lingerie Wanders

We have a small security problem at our house. His name is Henry. Henry is a 2-year-old Shih Tzu, and he’s an underwear thief. There are double dog doors on our premises — one leading from the kitchen to the garage and a second from the garage to the back yard — and at any given moment you might follow a trail of tightie-whities out to the garden and into the high school football field beyond. And it’s not my underwear. This is a source of enormous embarrassment to my wife, especially since Henry is prone to retrieving missing knickers at unsocial moments. The dishwasher repair guy was in the kitchen the other day, and Henry came sashaying through the dog door and dropped a pair of panties at his feet/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Has your pets ever embarrassed you?

Steve: You Should Stay In Bed

When I was 5, I used to run with scissors. When I was 10, I sledded — with the sled pointing in the wrong direction — down Red Hill in Pocatello. When I was 15, I drove a Volkswagen Beetle whose floorboards had rusted away. Now, approaching 60, I’m reduced to checking my shoes for brown recluse spiders before I put them on in the morning — and remember, this is February in Idaho. And I drive much slower than I care to admit. Feet of Clay Syndrome, it’s called — the gradual realization that just about everything you’ve done all your life could kill you. And sooner than you think/Steve Crump, Twin Falls Times-News. More here.

Question: Are you as much of a risk taker today as you were 10 years ago?

PM: Rocker Sixx Has Idaho Roots

Did you know that Nikki Sixx is an Idaho native? Not only does columnis Steve Crump of the Twin Falls Times-News report that Motley Crew rocker grew up as Frank Ferrana in the Magic Valley, but he also has a new line of high-end men's and women's clothing. Writes Crump, of the Royal Underground brand: “How high-end is Royal Underground? A men’s military-style leather jacket will set you back $1,245. A gray T-shirt emblazoned with crosses and fleur-de-lis goes for $115, and there’s a women’s linen trench coat for $895. And my personal favorite: a pair of straight-legged jeans with — quoting here, “light distressing” — priced to move at $335.” You can read Crump's column here.

Question: Which heavy-metal band is your favorite?

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D.F. Oliveria is a columnist and blogger for The Spokesman-Review. Print Huckleberries is a past winner of the Herb Caen Memorial Column contest by the National Association of Newspaper Columnists. The Readership Institute of Northwestern University cited this blog as a good example of online community journalism.

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