John Chaney shows off a turkey responsible for a break-in at a public library Sunday in Deadwood, S.D. Chaney and Sgt. Ken Mertens captured the turkey in a blanket and let it free after it crashed through a window and flew around the aisles that morning. You write the cutline. (AP Photo/Deadwood Police Department)

Top Cutlines:

• 1. Turkey crashes through literacy barrier for Muslim women! — JBelle.
• 2. Neighboring ‘No Daks’ laugh out loud when they hear the newest delicacy in Deadwood is “Turkey in a Blanket” — JohnA.
• 3. Found with ruffled feathers in the cookbook section, the unruly hen was asked to leave the library — Fort Boise.
• HM: Duane Rasmussen

President Barack Obama, with daughters Sasha and Malia, pardons Liberty, a 19-week old, 45-pound turkey, on the occasion of Thanksgiving, Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2011, on the North Portico of the White House in Washington. At left is National Turkey Federation Chairman Richard Huisinga. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Question: Describe your favorite dish in the Thanksgiving feast (besides the turkey)?

After his classmates had all departed, Lash Corbett, 8, leans in for a final good-bye to his friend and future dinner, Tom , at Liberty Christian School in Walla Walla, Wash. Tom has been raised by the Corbett family and was brought to school for show-and-tell by Lash's mom, Shawna Corbett. Shawna explained the various parts of a turkey before letting students know that the big white turkey was a farm animal and would be heading to the butcher in two days. You write the cutline. (AP Photo/Walla Walla Union-Bulletin, Jeff Horner)

• Tuesday contest winners here.

Top Cutlines:

• 1. A young robust Dan Gookin pats fellow council member Goodlander on the head reassuring her, “It’ll be ok, not another election for two more years” — Eman.
• 2. When Paul Ezra Roades requested that his last meal be Tom the turkey, the warden couldn’t escape the amusing thought that they’d both be executed the same day — JohnA.
• 3. I told you it wasn’t a good idea when you say a kiss from Mary would turn me from a frog in to a prince, Dan — Dennis.
• HM: Kage Mann

Does anyone really enjoy Secret Santa? Is mistletoe just an excuse to grope the unsuspecting?

Here’s some Christmas traditions some could do without:

Secret Santa: Here’s the way Secret Santa should work: everyone in the office brings a $20, puts it in a hat, the hat gets shuffled up, and everyone takes out a $20. And then you say “Hey, $20! I can really use that! Thanks, Secret Santa!” and you go back to online shopping at your desk.

Leaving Anything Other than Cookies for Santa: Okay, you can get away with a carrot for the reindeer, but beyond that? Things are out of hand. The elves want midget porn, Ms. Claus wants some Midol, Frosty the Snowman’s looking for something from one of the local dispensaries to fill that corncob pipe. Everyone’s got their hands out nowadays.

More here.

(Though I totally disagree with the one about no stockings for your pets. Like Santa would forget Milo!)