To piggyback on Cindy’s last post about the recent study on how husbands make more work for their wives, here’s a New York Times article that discusses how some parents try to divide the responsibilities 50-50.

In “When Mom and Dad Share It All,” reporter Lisa Belkin writes how some couples aspire to be “parenting partners” by working equal hours, spending equal time with their children and taking equal responsibility for their home.

It’s a pretty lengthy article (I started reading it two weeks ago and finally found the time to finish it this week), but it uses some recent figures from the University of Wisconsin’s National Survey of Families and Households. (Housework, by the way, is defined as things like cooking, cleaning, yardwork and home repairs.)

Here’s how the article summarizes that study:
- The average wife does 31 hours of housework a week while the average husband does 13 (the ratio is slightly more than two to one).
- In households where the wives stay home and husbands are the sole earners, women do 38 hours of housework while men do 12 (a ratio of more than three to one).
- But when husband and wife both have full-time paying jobs, the wife does 28 hours of housework and the husband does 16 (a ratio of slightly less than two to one).
- When the housework ratio is two to one, the wife-to-husband ratio for child care is close to five to one.
- In a family where the mom stays home and dad goes to work, she spends 15 hours caring for kids while he spends 2.
- When both work outside the home, mom’s average goes down to 11 while dad’s goes up to 3.

You get the idea.

One interesting point came at the end. According to several researchers, gay couples find the most balance.

“Heterosexual couples can learn from gay couples about sharing housework and child care,” says Esther D. Rothblum, a professor in the women’s studies department of San Diego State University who completed a comparative study of the relationships of 342 couples — lesbian, gay and heterosexual. “They are good role models.”

What’s the division of labor like at your house? Which chores do you prefer to do? Which tasks do you leave to your partner or the kids?

In this story first published earlier this year in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, families talk about the effects of skyrocketing food and gas prices on their budgets.

“Living in troubled times is giving teens a hard-knocks lesson in economics. Some kids in middle-income and working-class families are opting out of senior prom, class trips and travel tournaments,” wrote reporter Kathleen Kernicky. “Their parents, battered by rising food and gas prices, home foreclosures or job losses, don’t have the disposable dollars this year.”

According to the story, some families have no choice but to limit the number of activities for their children. Even teens who have summer jobs also struggle because their minimum-wage pay barely covers gas money.

How is the economy affecting your family and other families in the region?

I’ve been wondering today…why is it that people seem to wait for an occasion to fix up their home? They are selling their house, so they fix the stuff that is broken. Or they are having company, so the yard is spruced up. Is their no pride in keeping their home company-ready? If it needs to be fixed, why wait for guests? Isn’t your family worth it?

I’ve been letting my 4-year-old play with my laptop. Sometimes he just types his name and other random letters. Other times, we might do an activity on pbskids.org. I was a little hesitant at first to let him play on the computer. But I soon relented. After all, I’m the one who’s constantly checking e-mail, surfing the web and chatting away on the cell phone.

In this New York Times article, “So Young, and So Gadgeted,” Warren Buckleitner interviewed several parents whose children have been on the Web even before they started walking. “My 6-year-old has an iPod and wants a cellphone, although my husband and I aren’t sure who he’d call,” said one mom.

Other parents, however, weren’t as keen about having all this technology around their children. “I’m not a huge fan of flooding my children’s lives with the latest gadget,” said another mother. “My children go online for schoolwork, but our computer is in my sight, and protected to the teeth.”

What kinds of gadgets do your kids use? How can parents use the latest technology to support child development?

Is this really possible? Teri Crane, a consultant known as the “Potty Pro” and the author of “Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day” believes it can be done.

Has anyone ever tried this? My daughter, who will turn 2 this July, has been asking to sit on the potty. Sometimes it’s works. Sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t want to push it. It took her brother a long time to figure it out – and he was already three.

Should I wait until she’s a little older or should I buy the book and try the one-day boot camp?

When my oldest child was nine months old, we got on a plane and traveled to Mexico. Despite the fact that my husband and I both served in the Peace Corps and consider ourselves fairly seasoned travelers, that vacation with our baby was the roughest trip of our life. Here’s an excerpt from a 2004 story I wrote after coming home:

GUADALAJARA, Mexico - The baby has puked again - on my left shoulder, down my back and all over the white sheets of the hotel bed. It’s 3 a.m. and he has a slight fever. He’s teething. He’s wailing. And we are a long, long way from home.

Here’s the rest of the story.

It should have been obvious, but having a child made us less portable. We learned that the hard way. Still, we’ve persisted in the last few years. We took our son to Guatemala and Honduras when he was 2. And last year, we traveled with both our kids, ages 3 and 1 at the time, to Nicaragua.

Some people say that taking kids on an overseas trip isn’t worth the trouble. In an Associated Press story published last year, one mom who took her children to Venice when they were 2 and 4 said she wished she had waited until they were a little older. “It was expensive, they were cranky and we said next time we’d go without them,” said Christine Louise Hohlbaum, an American living in Germany.

Even Maureen Wheeler, co-founder of the Lonely Planet guidebook company, recommends waiting until children are at least 3.

Is international travel with kids a complete waste? Is there such a thing as an age-appropriate vacation for a child?

What would be the ideal vacation for your family?

I’m interested in finding out what kinds of games kids and families play in cars today… If any?
Are they just plugged into their Ipods - or do some families still count cows?
Collect license plates from outta state?
Look for funny road names? Do people actually stop at those “Historical Site Ahead” signs?
If fast food is involved, then who gets to pick the fast food place?
Rules on eating in the car — allowed or not allowed?

Also, how do families agree on which kind of music to listen to? Do people take turns picking the radio station/CD?

Any tips and suggestions are most welcome - I’ll use them in my “Stay and Play” stories.

While doing some research on peer mediation for a story I wrote in Monday’s newspaper, I sought help from “Teaching Tolerance,” a website and project of the civil rights champion, the Southern Poverty Law Center.

In the parents’ section, writer Dana Williams wrote a column that offered ways for parents to teach children how to improve their conflict resolution skills.

Here are some of Williams’ tips:
* Use positive discipline methods. Avoid yelling or using physical punishment. Through your example, your child will see that force is not the best or only choice.
* Set standards and enforce limits. As children grow, share your beliefs and goals. Affirm everyone’s right to be safe — emotionally and physically. Lay down ground rules for solving disagreements. Identify behaviors that are and are not acceptable.
* Help them solve it themselves. When children turn to you for help, resist telling them exactly what to do. First, give each child a chance to speak. Ask questions that encourage them to analyze the situation and options. “What is the problem?” “What have you already tried to solve it?” “How did it work?” “Is there something else you can do?” After brainstorming possible alternatives, analyze the pros and cons of each solution together.
* Know what’s happening at school.

In our household, adults and kids alike seem to have the tendency to lash out or throw a fit when we “can’t find our words.” That’s where conflict resolution skills might come in handy.

Any other suggestions on how to teach peace-making skills to our children?