While doing some research on peer mediation for a story I wrote in Monday’s newspaper, I sought help from "Teaching Tolerance," a website and project of the civil rights champion, the Southern Poverty Law Center.

In the parents’ section, writer Dana Williams wrote a column that offered ways for parents to teach children how to improve their conflict resolution skills.

Here are some of Williams' tips:
* Use positive discipline methods. Avoid yelling or using physical punishment. Through your example, your child will see that force is not the best or only choice.
* Set standards and enforce limits. As children grow, share your beliefs and goals. Affirm everyone’s right to be safe — emotionally and physically. Lay down ground rules for solving disagreements. Identify behaviors that are and are not acceptable.
* Help them solve it themselves. When children turn to you for help, resist telling them exactly what to do. First, give each child a chance to speak. Ask questions that encourage them to analyze the situation and options. “What is the problem?” “What have you already tried to solve it?” “How did it work?” “Is there something else you can do?” After brainstorming possible alternatives, analyze the pros and cons of each solution together.
* Know what’s happening at school.

In our household, adults and kids alike seem to have the tendency to lash out or throw a fit when we “can’t find our words.” That’s where conflict resolution skills might come in handy.

Any other suggestions on how to teach peace-making skills to our children?

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