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Archive for January 2009
Earlier this month, I asked you about your thoughts on family planning and how factors that include money, time, religious beliefs and environmental concerns all play into your decisions. So along those lines, I thought I’d bring up the California couple that gave birth to octuplets – six boys and two girls, born weighing between 1 pound 8 ounces and 3 pounds, 4 ounces and delivered via Cesarean section. (The babies, by the way, are all breathing on their own and five have started bottle feeding. And, according to news reports, the woman who gave birth to them also has six other children.)
Yesterday, The Los Angeles Times wrote about the risks and ethics involved in such a pregnancy. “When we see something like this in the general fertility world, it gives us the heebie-jeebies,” Michael Tucker, a clinical embryologist in Atlanta and a leading researcher in infertility treatment, told the LA Times. He added that, “if a medical practitioner had anything to do with it, there’s some degree of inappropriate medical therapy.”
The reporters noted that these multiple births not only involve the potential for all kinds of health problems for mother and babies; they also “consume enormous financial resources for hospitals, health insurers and families.”
Some people have strong opinions on this issue. On The Seattle Times website, a woman who identified herself as Bothell mom wrote: “This woman went into the hospital and had a ‘litter’ like an animal. This is going to cost society at some point. There is NO way you can convince me that this family is going to foot this bill on their own for the lives of these kids. Unless this family is pulling in A-List Hollywood paychecks, they’re going to end up being a drain on taxpayers. …”
What do you think?
Still reading old journals. I came across a list of “Alexisms.” Funny mispronunciations my then four-year-old son uttered.
Instead of barefoot he said butterfeet. Who knows why?
He assured me that his new sandals were waterpoop. I’m hoping he meant waterproof.
Cigarettes were dubbed sniggerettes, and one blustery day he yelled, “We better go inside a tomato is coming!”
What funny things do/did your kids say?
Lawmakers in Olympia are considering two bills that would allow school districts to have school only four days a week. The school day would be longer, of course, but kids get a three-day weekend.
According to this story from The Seattle P-I, the bill would waive the 180-day school requirement as long as students still get the required 1,000 hours of instruction every year. The goal is to save money on utilities, transportation, maintenance and food, according to the bills’ sponsors.
Is this a good idea? How about the possibility of having school year-round?
Prior to having our first child nearly two weeks ago, my wife and I were fairly oblivious to the vast world of baby-related retail products. As we prepared for our little one’s arrival, we ambled blankly through Babies-R-Us and other stores, wondering, at times aloud, “do we really need all this stuff?” It’s kind of like an improv game - choose a verb that describes something your baby will do, and a noun that describes where they will do it, and I guarantee that A) there’s a product designed for that specific situation, and B) it’s probably got Elmo on it.
Of course, no one needs everything at the store. But we did pick up some things that we now can’t live without, and some other things that haven’t proved particularly useful. Besides obvious things like jammies and a car seat, here are some nursery essentials.
1) Changing table. Initially, it seemed absurd to me to have a mission-specific piece of furniture for a job that, fundamentally, only requires a horizontal surface, like the bed or the couch. But I lucked out and found a nice one at the Habitat surplus store for $20, so I brought it home. It is now officially my favorite piece of furniture in the house. You really need something that’s the appropriate height and that the baby can’t roll out of. Also, I’ve learned that baby boys love to pee all over everything at inopportune moments (there are four or five brands of Elmo-themed cups you can use to contain these outbursts), and whether the baby pees all over a $20 table (as opposed to my bed) frankly doesn’t keep me up at night.
2) Cloth diapers. Don’t get me wrong - as long as we’re still in double-digit diaper changes per day, we’re using disposables and refuse to feel guilty about it (though we’re open to doing the “green” thing later on). Meanwhile, the cloth diapers are the ultimate all-purpose rags - we use them for burping cloths and keep a couple handy by the changing table for body-fluid management. We got some really nice burping cloths as a gift that do the job, but not so well as to justify the expense.
3) Straitjackets. OK, not really. But when our doula explained to us that babies are most comfortable when they’re wrapped up tightly like a burrito, we dug through the clothes and found the swaddle-sleeper that some friends gave us. Basically a cloth bag with flaps that velcro around to hold the arms in place. It looks (and functions) a lot like a little straitjacket. Baby’s snug and secure, mom and dad get a little sleep, everyone wins.
4) 25-watt bulbs. Don’t buy a night light. Just get a low-power bulb and put it in one of your lamps, and keep the light on all night. It’s a lot easier to get used to sleeping in soft light than it is to fumble around for the light switch with a kid in your arms at 3 a.m.
5) Music device. It seems counterintuitive, but babies don’t like silence. We’ve got a cheapo set of speakers hooked up to an iPod in our room. As we calm baby to sleep, we keep some relaxing music going. Helps calm parents as much as it does the kiddo.
6) Backpack. We’re using my wife’s old school backpack as a diaper bag. Very handy, and makes dad feel less dorky than he would lugging around one of those gigantic shiny purses they sell in the stores.
What about you? What are some nursery items you couldn’t live without? Are there things you bought that you found out were completely useless?
Last spring, we made several trips to the dump (the Waste-to-Energy plant, I should say), gave away clothes that the kids had outgrown and donated toys and other items to the Arc of Spokane.
But here we are again – overwhelmed with stuff, especially toys. My children and I have spent the morning making three piles: 1) to give away; 2) to keep and 3) to maybe keep or at least stash away until we’re ready to part with them.
After the holidays and each birthday party, I put away half the presents (once they’re opened, of course) and slowly take them out as the other toys lose their novelty.
Our “give away” pile is very small right now. Some stuffed animals that were there this morning somehow find their way back into the shelves or in the “keep” pile. The kids’ bedroom is a mess. We’ve accomplished very little in the last few hours.
What do you do at your house? Do you try to purge as a family or is it better to sneak stuff out little by little? Any tips to keep your household from being overwhelmed with stuff?
Earlier this week, Washington’s new schools chief, Randy Dorn, talked about his plan to replace the WASL with two new tests – the “Measurements of Student Progress” and the “High School Proficiency Exams” – beginning in the spring of 2010.
According to this Associated Press story, students in grades three to eight will be tested twice a year and high school students will be given several opportunities to pass the exam.
In a statement posted on the OSPI website, Dorn said the MSP for grades 3 to 8 will be shorter, less expensive and tied to technology. This will allow for a faster turnaround for results, Dorn wrote. Like the MSP, the HSPE also will be shorter and will involve fewer long-answer questions.
The WASL has been controversial since its inception a decade
ago. While many students, parents and teachers are relieved to see it go, there
are some who believe that after so much effort and so much money spent to
improve the exam, why scrap the whole thing now for something new? Why not
continue making efforts to improve it?
What are your thoughts on this issue? Are you glad to see the end of the WASL? What suggestions would you give the new superintendent as his administration prepares to design a new standardized test?
The kids are off to school; think I’ll fix myself a nice breakfast with a pot of tea. I go to the sink, and start to clean up the dishes before I sit and relax. How about some music? I go to the bedroom to pick out a CD. Oh, I started cleaning in the bathroom, think I’ll quickly vacuum. Hmmm, this rug may go really nice in the window seat, better clean it first. Okay, to the seat, but it needs to be dusted and oiled. All cleaned up, looks nice. Add the rug and return the knick-knacks. Might as well dust the rest of the room. 30 minutes later, back to the kitchen. What was I doing? Oh yeah, the dishes. Look-that plant needs some water. Hmmm.
I’ve been going through some journals I kept when my three oldest were all under five. I’m not sure how I stayed awake long enough to write because in almost every entry I mention trying desperately to get some sleep.
One of my favorite entries starts: “They can’t stay up forever, can they? They will go to sleep eventually, won’t they?”
Another entry exults: “Ethan and Alex are both napping at the same time!” Other mothers and parenting books advised me to nap when my children were napping. Right. That’s when I cleaned house and read the paper.
How about you? If you have young children, do you feel well rested? Do your kids take naps? For parents with older kids, how did you cope during those sleep deprived months/years?
I brought my children to preschool/childcare two hours late today. Instead of rushing out the door, we sat in front of the television to watch as Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th president of our country.
I know my kids are perhaps too young to understand the importance of this historic event, but I wanted them to see the images on the screen, to hear the cheers and applause, to feel the wave of excitement that swept over the crowds of people in Washington D.C.
Like others who watched the inauguration, I cried as I listened to Obama’s words and marveled at the fact that we have elected the first African American president in our nation’s history.
I get especially emotional about this because my children are biracial — just like our new president.
At this point in their lives, my children don’t understand what this means and what the implications are to be a person of color. They don’t comprehend what Obama meant when he stated in his inaugural address: “This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed, why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall. And why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.”
As someone who was born in the early ‘70s, I, too, can’t completely comprehend what it was like for people of color to suffer the indignity of having to sit in the back of the bus or get water from separate drinking fountains. But early on, my teachers helped me realize that this was a piece of history that I needed to know and understand and to never forget.
In some ways, there’s a part of me that wishes my children will remain “colorblind” as they get older, but to raise them in that manner would be naïve on my part. No matter how much I want to protect them, I’m almost positive my kids won’t be lucky enough to elude discrimination and intolerance at some point in their lives.
But I digress. I guess my point is that although my children didn’t comprehend every word of the inaugural address, I think they were still able to recognize in their own way that something important happened today — that a new leader was sworn in and that there’s something special, something significant about the election of “Ba-ma,” as my 2-year-old refers to the president.
I don’t know how to talk to my children about race at this point. But in order to start that conversation someday, I knew it was important for them to witness this moment in history.
How about you? Did your children watch the inauguration at school or at home? What kind of discussions did your family have about the event?
I’m not sure how it happens, but somewhere down the line, some of us actually forget the pain of childbirth. The memory of those stressful first months – learning how to breastfeed, changing diapers every hour, figuring out a schedule for the family — also begin to fade. Even the lack of sleep isn’t a big deal anymore. Some parents actually get used to surviving on only five or six hours.
When life begins to feel normal again and our toddlers
become more independent, some of us start yearning for another baby.
Some couples decide early on that they want only one or two children. So they stick to that plan. Others, however, ditch it and actually go for the third baby, maybe even the fourth or fifth. Consider the famous Duggar family of Arkansas. The couple just gave birth to their 18th child last month.
All kinds of factors – from money and time to religious beliefs and concerns about the environment — play into family-planning decisions. I’m wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing yours. Is one child enough for you? Do you want more? How do you know when your family is “complete”?
Awhile back we talked about kids and cell phones. But what about parents? What do you use your cell phone for— is it your business phone, your primary number, or only used for emergencies?
I’ve found my kids don’t have a real grasp on what emergency use is: http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2009/jan/15/when-you-have-a-family-your-cell-phone-needs-a/
Regular exercise not only keeps our children healthy. It also
reduces stress, helps them sleep better and prepares them for the academic and
emotional challenges they encounter in school.
All kids over the age of 2 should get at least 60 minutes of exercise almost every day, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s 2005 dietary guidelines as well as the Department of Health and Human Services.
Locally, nearly 6,000 kids at more than 60 schools take part in “Fit for Bloomsday… Fit for Life,” a fitness program developed by Bloomsday volunteers with help from health and fitness instructors, coaches and parents in Spokane. The eight- to 10 week program was established 23 years ago and helps prepare kids to run or walk Bloomsday while teaching them about fitness, safety and nutrition.
January 26 is the deadline for schools to sign up. More information is available on the Bloomsday website: www.bloomsdayrun.org.
Does your child participate in Bloomsday, the Marmot March, America’s Kids’ Run and other spring fitness events? How do these events motivate your family to stay healthy? How do you get your children to exercise or move around for an hour every day?
About one in 200 kids are vegetarian, according to estimates based on a recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study.
In this Associated Press story published earlier this week, Mike Stobbe reported the findings as well as the growing trend of vegetarianism among adolescents.
Some vegetarians have told me that they were aware of their aversion to meat at an early age. We know several preschoolers who are vegetarian and whose parents also don’t eat meat.
My 2-year-old, who loves tofu and eggs, refuses to eat chicken, pork and beef. Do you think she’s really a vegetarian or just a picky eater at this point? How do you tell the difference?
The color pink might be damaging to girls, a recent BBC story suggests. In “Should we not dress girls in pink?” writer Clair Bates interviewed several people who believe it’s not healthy for girls to be “obsessed” with the color.
“We are creating little fluffy pink princess, an image of girliness, that is very specific and which some girls don’t want to go along with, but due to overwhelming peer pressure, are having to conform to,” said Sue Palmer, author of “Toxic Childhood.”
But Bates also interviewed Spokane’s own Michael Gurian, therapist and author of numerous books on raising kids including “Nurture the Nature.” Gurian told the BBC that an overexposure to the color pink (or any other color) has absolutely no biological effects.
“My daughters love pink, but are very successful young women,” Gurian told the BBC. “Their love of pink and of girl stuff has not held them back.”
I have a friend who is especially wary of the Disney princesses. She pointed out to me how “The Little Mermaid,” for instance, can send the wrong message to girls. After all, Ariel had to change herself in order to get the prince.
Do you have a daughter who loves pink? Are you at all concerned about the stereotypes and messages behind the “fluffy pink princess” and other “girly” images?
Sometimes, it is easier to measure how much a child has learned through scores, a grade or something equally tangible.
But as many of us have discovered, the numbers or grades don’t tell the whole story. They’re a snapshot of a moment, perhaps, but they’re certainly not a reflection of the whole child – his or her knowledge, talents and awareness of others and the world.
One section also addresses how and when a child should be learning reading, writing and mathematics:
